Well I think the idea is that many of us hold ourselves to a much higher standard than we do others we care about. So it follows that if you give them grace, forgiveness, tolerance — why can’t you give such grace, forgiveness, tolerance to yourself whom you should also care about?Seeking to improve and be better is great, but we aren’t perfect little robots. At the end of the day — despite maybe knowing better — you still did X, so move past the self-bashing and think constructively how to improve going forward.
I’ll further note that we like to think of ourselves as this singular consciousness with a driver at the head, but let’s be honest… There are a whole host of competing voices in our heads with some sizable control of our faculties from different regions ranging from the Limbic system to the ACC — leaving aside the gut-brain axis that can pretty easily hijack your perception and priorities. For me it has been helpful as of recently to think of my state of mind as a collection of these voices with differing priorities. Thus changing my environment can keep the varying cabinet members content; that’s what you can do as the CEO in the prefrontal cortex.
Well, when people wrong me in very significant ways, I actually don’t forgive and tolerate them. Especially when said people repeat the harmful behaviors to others over and over again, often without remorse. In that regard, I’m not necessarily being a ton different in the way I view myself. One of the problems is that I continue to do X even when I try not to.
Yeah it’s tough to say and you know your situation better than I do. Usually the people who wrong that severely are not people I cared for all that much to begin with; and yes, in those situations when someone you once cared for wrongs you deeply… The path to forgiveness can be tough if not possible. Been there under both circumstances.
I think I’m giving more broad generalized advice as to the fact that if you love and care about yourself then you should afford yourself some leeway within the context of being an imperfect human and not a perfect robot. If you continue to do X even when you try not to, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should hate yourself more or beat yourself up more — after all, how is that going to help but invoke a bad feedback loop? Look at it as a game and try to find a different way to approach the quest, perhaps?
Well I think the idea is that many of us hold ourselves to a much higher standard than we do others we care about. So it follows that if you give them grace, forgiveness, tolerance — why can’t you give such grace, forgiveness, tolerance to yourself whom you should also care about?Seeking to improve and be better is great, but we aren’t perfect little robots. At the end of the day — despite maybe knowing better — you still did X, so move past the self-bashing and think constructively how to improve going forward.
I’ll further note that we like to think of ourselves as this singular consciousness with a driver at the head, but let’s be honest… There are a whole host of competing voices in our heads with some sizable control of our faculties from different regions ranging from the Limbic system to the ACC — leaving aside the gut-brain axis that can pretty easily hijack your perception and priorities. For me it has been helpful as of recently to think of my state of mind as a collection of these voices with differing priorities. Thus changing my environment can keep the varying cabinet members content; that’s what you can do as the CEO in the prefrontal cortex.
Well, when people wrong me in very significant ways, I actually don’t forgive and tolerate them. Especially when said people repeat the harmful behaviors to others over and over again, often without remorse. In that regard, I’m not necessarily being a ton different in the way I view myself. One of the problems is that I continue to do X even when I try not to.
Idk if any of that made sense.
Yeah it’s tough to say and you know your situation better than I do. Usually the people who wrong that severely are not people I cared for all that much to begin with; and yes, in those situations when someone you once cared for wrongs you deeply… The path to forgiveness can be tough if not possible. Been there under both circumstances.
I think I’m giving more broad generalized advice as to the fact that if you love and care about yourself then you should afford yourself some leeway within the context of being an imperfect human and not a perfect robot. If you continue to do X even when you try not to, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should hate yourself more or beat yourself up more — after all, how is that going to help but invoke a bad feedback loop? Look at it as a game and try to find a different way to approach the quest, perhaps?