• JE2SJWMKLS@lemm.ee
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    6 months ago

    The gun is on the correct side of the plate for a right hand shooter, but should be laying on it’s left side so that it can be picked up from above with the right hand. </s>

    • Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz
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      6 months ago

      No, left side is correct for the breakfast gun.

      A gun that size isn’t actually big enough for situations where you need a gun, it’s just meant to provide cover fire while you get a bigger better gun. You’ll be using your left hand to fire the cover gun, so that your right hand is available for picking up the bigger gun. This has the additional benefit of leaving your dominant hand free to eat with.

  • grue@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    This picture is distinctly lacking in ultraprocessed sugary cereal and/or shelf-stable pastries.

  • constantokra@lemmy.one
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    6 months ago

    There’s not nearly enough butter on that toast, not enough eggs, and where’s the sausage? In Florida the breakfast gun goes on the dominant side with the grip out. Once alcohol is served the slide will be locked back. In particularly liberal circles the magazines will also be popped out. We aren’t savages.

      • constantokra@lemmy.one
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        6 months ago

        This is going to get so Florida, so I’m sorry. Most of the people I know who carry daily carry guns without safeties, so that just wouldn’t work. Also, it’s literally a mark of distinction between “responsible gun owners” and irresponsible ones that before the alcohol comes out all the guns are made conspicuously safe, unless the person is a designated non drinker. They would take on the unspoken responsibility of being armed and vigilant for the rest of the group. This will happen discreetly in mixed company, but likely conspicuously if everyone present carries a gun.

        And anyone committing the faux pas of calling a magazine a clip would get a polite correction, and if repeated they wouldn’t be invited next time.

        • Freefall@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Army here. After getting out, it took me a VERY long time and a lot of mental struggle to start calling magazines “clips” in passing conversation, just to troll everyone at the range.

        • RBWells@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          The toast is wrong for Florida though, we’d have Cuban bread.

          The bacon though - we went to La Teresita here for breakfast, my kids ordered bacon and they brought them a whole bowl full of bacon to share.

          • constantokra@lemmy.one
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            6 months ago

            They glory in the bounty of food. I went to a Cuban restaurant with a friend who was vegetarian. The staff just flat couldn’t understand the concept. Why wouldn’t you eat meat if it was available?

            • RBWells@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              Constantokra? Could you have a word with my okra plants? They have not flowered yet, are flourishing in the heat but no okra. I planted fewer because in years past we couldn’t keep up with them, but this year they hesitate? We want constant okra.

          • Maeve@sh.itjust.works
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            6 months ago

            I went to edit the post and fat-finger deleted it. Basically I said I’m not that far from Florida and regional differences are wild. More than that, but I just finished dinner after a brisk walk in not-as-hot but thick-with-humidity-and-mosquitos air and I’m going to be lazy while I enjoy cold water.

    • Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      Sorry but toast is made from bread. That there would be legally called cake in large swathes of the planet

      • Takumidesh@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        No it wouldn’t.

        Even in France, arguably the biggest of the bread snobs, they call American style white bread: pain de mie (soft bread) and they call it pain grillé (toasted bread).

        This is just standard regular sliced bread.

        • barsoap@lemm.ee
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          6 months ago

          Actually American stuff is illegal in the EU, preservatives, bleaches, dyes, whatnot. What’s allowed to be called what will differ from country to country and you are not the biggest bread snobs, you’re just the most vocally snobbish.

          In Germany there’s Toastbrot, actual bread though noone in their right mind would eat it without toasting first, then bigger and thicker and fluffier slices which are considered an “American-style” style of toast (again: don’t eat them raw ewww) but as said not the real deal. Those latter ones may or may not be legally bread, it’s usually hidden in the fine print while the big print is “sandwich slices” or something. Thing is the stuff needs to be made from 90% flour, sugar+fat together max 10%, and if you want something that’s recognisable to Americans as bread you need to blow that limit.

          Oh and all are bound to use a proper sourdough process, over-engineered as it may be in an industrial setting they’re giving the dough enough time to actually pre-digest itself.

        • Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee
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          6 months ago

          I actually looked this up; wonderbread has 2.5 grams of sugar per 30g slice!

          Fuckin hell

          The worst offender I could find in France was Harry’s American bread. 1.2 grams of sugar per 40g slice

          In Ireland, if bread has more than 2 grams of sugar per 100g, it’s cake and is taxed as such

      • Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        No, we’re talking America here. That’s not nearly enough butter. It needs to cover basically the whole face of the toast.

          • Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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            6 months ago

            Indeed, as an American I feel it would only be exaggeration if the whole face of the toast was covered in so much butter that it’s white.

        • OpenStars@discuss.online
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          6 months ago

          I was thinking the opposite: who needs the: toast, egg, or plates underneath - the coffee is mandatory though. Bacon on a paper towel needs less clean-up afterwards. :-P

        • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Why wouldn’t you want butter over the whole face of the toast? What kind of monster are you?

          • Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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            6 months ago

            The kind of monster who toasts my toast on the lowest setting, but still uses a full coat of butter.

  • Nougat@fedia.io
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    6 months ago

    The Breakfast Gun goes on whichever side the diner’s firing hand is.

    Edits below!

    After some discussion and reflection, I agree with @[email protected] that the Breakfast Gun would indeed go on the left, “to show you plan for a peaceful meal.”

    Furthermore, presentation of Firearms depends on the level of dining:

    At a polite table, guests are expected to lay their Meal Arms down holstered, so as not to soil the table linens. Placing a Meal Arm directly on the tablecloth is a sign of disrespect.

    At a formal table, a Firearm Napkin will be provided for each diner. This allows diners to display their Meal Arms openly without soiling the linens.

    At a “high table,” Meal Arms will be provided by the host. These Arms, while fully functional, are adorned with many engravings and flourishes, as a demonstration of the host’s status, and the diner’s status as a guest at the table.

  • cm0002@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Wait … I worry what you heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. ’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have ~ Ron Swanson

    • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Ron, holding two cartons of eggs: “Is this all the eggs we have?”

      Donna: “Yes. What are you making?”

      Ron: “Eggs.”

  • Freefall@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Ok, first off…I usually have two eggs.

    Second, it is with my Sig p365

    So…checkmate!

  • spizzat2@lemm.ee
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    6 months ago

    Fork goes on the left; each has four letters.

    Spoon and knife go on the right; each has five letters.

    Gun goes… on top?

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Gun goes on hip so that you don’t need to train on drawing while eating breakfast separately from training on drawing while doing anything else while sitting.

    • ikidd@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Gun goes on lap so when someone sits across from you and gets mouthy, you can shoot them in the dick.

  • Nobody@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    At the conclusion of a satisfying meal, Americans are expected to fire their Breakfast Guns into the air in the parking lot. It’s considered courteous, and it signals to others where a good breakfast can be found.

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Close. I keep a little league aluminum baseball bat handy for those rude individuals that like to interrupt my peaceful breakfast.

  • FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io
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    6 months ago

    It goes on whichever side your dominant hand is. Also, in the picture it’s flipped the wrong way: Handle goes out so you can pick it up easily for when you need to dispense freedom seeds.

    Also^2, the coffee should be black.

    • Etterra@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      It’s a light breakfast. It’d be a skillet if it was a full breakfast, with a stack of pancakes if it was a Sunday.