An old granny bard, based in no small part on my own grandma. She doesn’t channel her magic through song or dance, but through her sassy remarks, telling stories about her childhood, and making baked goods, sweets, and presents for her adopted grandkids (the adventuring party).

Bardic Inspiration? Reminding you how much she loves you and is proud of you. Alternatively, giving you some candy for later or promising that if you do well, she will bake you a pie or take you out for icecream for being so brave.

Healing spells? Blown kisses, band-aids, and warm cookies.

Hypnotic Pattern/Hold Person/etc? Telling a rambling story (that she forgot what the point/moral was before she even started) but the enemies are too polite to interrupt her.

Dissonant Whispers/Visious Mockery/etc? Asking when you are going to get a boyfriend/girlfriend, graduate, get married, or get a real job. Telling bad (and slightly innapropriate) jokes, for her own amusement, often messing up the punchline. Asking if you have talked your mother recently (“You know, she won’t be around forever, and I am sure she wishes you’d write more.”) Simply saying “Bless your heart.”

Party Buffs? Giving you knickknacks, homemade gifts, or old hand-me-downs she really thinks you’ll like. Passing down age-earned wisdom and giving encouragement to just try your best. Making breakfast for the party, using far too much butter, cream, and other artery clogging goodness.

Not dumb at all. If you aren’t familiar with latex, the easiest way to use it would be to make an overleaf account, open the template, and follow along through the comments in the document. Most everything is formatted for plug-and-play entry, so you just fill in the required fields. It is a bit technical, but should be mostly readable even without markup experience. You can also copy the text from the .tex files (itemcard.tex, ItemCommands.tex, and tcolorboxSettings.tex) into chatGPT along with your item description and it will convert it for you.

Thank you!

Thanks! If you end up using it, let me know!

Regarding not being familiar with LaTeX, I have already successfully used this template alongside chatGPT to convert items from a block of poorly formatted text to a finished card in just a few minutes. All you have to do is feed chatGPT the item’s description and the contents of the TeX files contained in the package (itemcard.tex, itemCommands.tex, tcolorboxSettings.tex) and it will do a pretty bang up job of formatting your item to match the template.

Regarding not being familiar with LaTeX, I have already successfully used this template alongside chatGPT to convert items from a block of poorly formatted text to a finished card in just a few minutes. All you have to do is feed chatGPT the item’s description and the contents of the TeX files contained in the package (itemcard.tex, itemCommands.tex, tcolorboxSettings.tex) and it will do a pretty bang up job of formatting your item to match the template.

Not only can I not draw, I apparently can’t even figure out how to properly attach an image using kbin. Example item card: https://imgur.com/a/QIgFZ6n

Goliath Fighter. A little on the nose, but still fun!

It sucks and makes dealing ith the illness so much worse. Ironically, stress is a trigger for Crohns/UC and the stress of dealing with this has been responsible for multiple flareups of mine. Luckily, a lifeline might be on the horizon for autoimmune disorders like Crohns, Celiacs, and MS

A new (anti?)vaccine is being tested that can rewrite the immune system to take the body’s normal, healthy cells off its kill list. Fingers crossed that before I turn 35 I can just be done with this horseshit before it causes any lasting damage to my insides

https://scitechdaily.com/new-vaccine-can-completely-reverse-autoimmune-diseases-like-multiple-sclerosis-type-1-diabetes-and-crohns-disease/

I got my Crohn’s diagnosis about 3 years ago. While it has been worth it, the amount I have spent on medication, procedures, doctor’s visits, etc has kept my credit card near its limit for years and is a constant source of anxiety. This is with decent insurance. I have a job that is flexible with hours, but between flare ups and infusions, I have to miss work semifrequently and someone not in my position could be in a very tenuous state with their employer. Not to mention the stress of fighting the insurance for coverage of medications that are thousands of dollars per dose and dealing with systemic incompetence of the people involved in every stage of the process. They all fail (doctor’s office, infusion clinic, insurance, etc) to communicate in anything resembling a timely manner without my constant pestering and prodding. It is torturous, and only marginally better than the symptoms themself, and I understand exactly why people forego treatment if they have deal with any one of these issues individually, let alone with all of them. Just so BCBS/UHC/etc can turn a profit off our suffering.

My research collaboration is based out of Spain. My boss is British. After traveling to Spain with him, the word guiri is now my favorite and how I refer to him when he is being overly British.

The Mattel Cinematic Universe is the true MCU

A true Sapphic Barbie Utopia is too powerful for normies to gel with

No. https://tenor.com/view/its-me-im-the-problem-taylor-swift-problem-taylor-im-the-problem-gif-26994473

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No problem, sorry if that came off as snippy. it is something I actually still feel some latent guilt(?)/regret about since it was technically my fault that my parents had to lose one of their pets (I know it is illogical and I don’t actively blame myself, this happened 24 years ago and I was a literal toddler).

The memory sucks, not gonna lie, but I luckily don’t remember the pain aspect. it had the positive effect of making me a staunch proponent for the well being of animals, even those perceived as dangerous. If it could happen with our sweet dog that had never shown any signs of aggression, I think we owe it to these creatures that rely on us to show them compasion.

I agree completely that it is never the dog’s fault, and irresponsible dog ownership hurts the dog as much as those put at risk by the owner’s carelessness.

It was one of our family dogs, and we all loved her dearly. I was playing on the couch and fell off, landing on her tail and hurting her. She instictually snapped and it resulted in, unfortunately, the worst possible outcome (it is shitty, but it is one of my first well formed memories). Despite it being a freak one off, my parents couldn’t feel safe given what happened and rehomed her to a family friend who didn’t have children. She lived a long happy life and my dad still got to see her regularly, as he was heartbroken that he had to make this choice. I personally don’t think my parents letting their kid play around the family dog, one that they had since before I was born, should have their faces readjusted.

Multiple times.

Photo for any weirdos who want to see it.

Thanks!