- She spends her time robbing tombs.
- She destroys the tombs and sanctuaries She visits.
- She shoots species that are probably in danger of extinction.
- She finds dinosaurs still alive and what does She do? Shoot them to death while continuing to destroy tombs.
At least her name is on point with Tomb Raider.
Congruent, at last.
Lara Croft, Tomb Coddler
cough
not the only thing that’s on point
quickly eyes the angular monoboob, then looks away
The game is literally called “Tomb Raider”. What did you think raiding meant?
Well I mean she’s British and rich, what do you expect?
I love when I’m surrounded by treasures in an ancient temple no human has laid eyes on in thousands of years, so I take a look at a scroll then immediately leave.
It’s a good thing those torches are still burning after thousands of years, otherwise you would have needed a flashlight!
Oh, what’s that in the corner? A random Uzi mag and health pack. Cool.
That’s the way it should be!
Average br*tish archaeologist tbh
And the asterisk is for what reason, exactly?
I don’t like saying it, it’s gross
Offensive to half the nations on Earth and all of the ones next to them
But you did say it. Everyone knows what the word is. You went out of your way for literally no reason, to accomplish nothing but making people wonder why you did such a pointless thing.
Maybe they’re fr*nch
Lara Croft is basically a female Indiana Jones. Replace the whip with two pistols and the hat with triangular boobs.
deleted by creator
And Nathan Drake is male Lara, which is kinda funny to think about.
Put mercenaries on the list. They get hired to guard some excavation. A chill job the recruiter told them.
Lara overhears them talk about going home to their families as she sneaks up and brutally murders them with her ice axe one by one until the ruins are flooded with blood. It’s all self defense.
Just like Huitzilopochtli would want it.
Blood for the Sun God, skulls for the Hermann Miller office chair. Sun God values ergonomics.
Damn you’re right! Is like that recurring joke in the Austin Powers Movies.
Same with Indiana Jones. Maybe he’s slightly less terrible about it than Lara Croft, but the fact that he cares only about that golden idol and not about the entire temple complex around it with apparently still active traps, makes him a terrible archaeologist.
They’re both very effective adventurers and tomb robbers, though. And at least Lara Croft doesn’t pretend to be any better than that.
Also: “It belongs to a museum”
Which museum, indie? I guess you are talking about the museum of the country where the artifact is from, right? RIGHT?!
Of course not. That big government warehouse with all the boxes. I’m sure “museum” is a nickname they use for it.
Are there any games that accurately depict the activities of any kind of scientist?
I’m not sure there’s a market for a “Pipette Cry Repeat” based video game.
You are missing the Grant DLC, that puts the fun in funding.
Kerbal Space Program
That’s engineering, not science. There is no science gameplay, you just have science points that you spend.
“Everything that has ever occurred is science stuff.”
So, all that anal probing was, indeed, science? TIL
The implementation of engineering is science. In this case it involves physics, materials, structural, and a bunch of others science disciplines.
It isn’t research discovering new things, sure. Not that kind of science.
Seems more like engineers than scientists (strictly speaking).
Engineering is science.
Scientists construct models from reality; engineers construct reality from models.
I dont think scientist simulator would be a very popular game. Its be mostly trying cope with the mental anguish of rejection over papers and grants being published.
There’s a mini game in Spider-Man where you have to match up absorption lines to identify chemicals. That’s relatively realistic.
Heaven’s Vault.
I guess there was Foldit 😅
Half-Life
I know it is a game, but every time an ancient ruin got crushed while playing, I felt a lot of regret…
I kind of wish there was a chill game about discovering an old civilization (a.k.a. 20 years of work in 20 hours of gameplay).
Myst?
Well. She’s the Tomb RAIDER, not the Tomb Preserver.
In the latest game she triggers a massive flood that destroys an entire village, possibly killing hundreds of people, IN THE TUTORIAL STAGE!
To be fair, the odds of removing a dagger from a pedestal doing that are extremely low, even in the survivor trilogy.
Oh boy, crimes against humanity must be added to the list.
tomb RAIDER
Indiana Jones actually claims to be an archeologist, he would be a better target.
I forgive Indie because he punches Nazis in their stupid face.
Doesn’t he also objectify women?
And dated a minor
Like… Yeah?
But again… Punching Nazis.
In case ya’ll don’t know about Heinrich Schliemann…
Now you do.
He fucking dynamited what quite likely is the actual location of ancient Troy…in the early days, the field of archaelogy had a number of basically wealthy idiot assholes who fancied themselves as ‘great men’, who went around doing nonsense like this, and of course just actually stealing the artefacts and taking them back to museums in their home countries.
Schliemann obliterated the potential Troy site so thoroughly that archaeologists spent over 100 years looking at other potential sites… only to largely (not entirely, but largely) come to the conclusion that Schiemann’s Troy site probably is the actual correct site…
… But he fucking blew it up.
A historical example of an idiot with too much money and unwarranted self confidence.
Yup, this douche looks like the Musk of his dayExcept unlike Musk, he did actually earn his own money, not just inherit from his daddy before purchasing companies to try and take credit for their innovation.
he did actually earn his own money,
How?
If you look at the article about him it looks like he was actually pretty savy at business and was able to make enough money to retire at 36. In contrast, the muskrat was born with an emerald spoon in his mouth. So, both are idiots, but between the two muskrat is worse.
