• Hot Saucerman@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I want to live in a world where no one feels they are struggling so much that they need to turn to selling their body for sex.

    However, I don’t live in that world, so in the meantime I support sex workers, because sex work is work.


    The men who use their services? That’s a tougher nut to crack.

    My partners brother is heavily mentally disabled and pushing 40, he’s still very much like a child, but obviously does not have a child’s libido. This man has never had an intimate interaction with a woman. He might never get the chance, he struggles to talk to women, even women who have similar issues as himself. I think sex workers could be beneficial for him, in the right context, for giving him intimacy he may otherwise never experience. I don’t think he would ever think/know to pursue a sex worker, but I could be wrong. There’s also the issue of his emotions began to be involved, which leads me to…

    I’d be more worried about him finding OnlyFans and blowing through all his disability money each month instead of realizing he’s not actually getting much out of such a “relationship.” He’s the kind of person who a parasocial relationship like that could really damage their already troubling mental health. The same thing could happen with a prostitute, but they are less likely to hang the relationships on fake social cues that say they care about you. He’s not quite advanced enough to understand that these women are being paid to pretend to care, I don’t think.


    Also, there’s other types of men who use these services I’m sure aren’t a net positive. There are plenty of conservative men who already view a standard relationship as a sexual transaction (I take care of girl = she give me sex), so they’re not far from viewing everything women with transactional already. Secondly, not only do the already view it as transactional, many of these conservative men turn to prostitutes because average women simply don’t want to date them because of their horrible, outdated views on women’s bodily autonomy. They are already angsty and moody because of women not wanting to date them, and they often are willing to take out their frustrations on the woman they paid to serve them. I see these men as not respecting and hurting the women they turn to for sex work.


    Anyway, just some quick thoughts on the subject.

    • FederatedSaint@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I want to live in a world where no one feels they are struggling so much that they need to turn to selling their body for sex.

      You see, that’s the problem. You are implicitly devaluing sex work compared to other professions. You’re not acknowledging that some people actually want to, and choose to do sex work. There’s nothing wrong whatsoever with someone choosing prostitution, stripping, escort, etc.

      Could you say your same statement about being a lawyer? A teacher? An engineer?

      “I want to live in a world where no one feels they are struggling so much that they need to turn to being an engineer.”

      You see how weird that sounds? So why can you say it about sex work? Do you see how derisive you’re being toward it as a profession? Funny that you say you’re supportive while implying that what they’re doing is a last resort…🤦‍♂️

      • Lintson@aussie.zone
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        1 year ago

        I get you point but I genuinely want to live in a world where people are not forced to turn to engineering.

        • Ticktok@lemmy.one
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          1 year ago

          I chose engineering, and when I started I loved it, but eventually I ended up working in places I didn’t like, on jobs that made me feel dirty, but now I don’t know any other way to maintain the lifestyle I’m accustomed to.

      • redballooon@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        I think the error is on your side. Nothing that OC said denies that some sex workers like and choose what they do. These exist.

        But it’s doubtable that these are in majority, and nothing what you say acknowledges that many many sex workers don’t have much choice.

        • FederatedSaint@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Check yourself dude. The mere fact that you say “it’s doubtable these are in the majority” shows EXACTLY what you think of sex work. Your attitude of “ugh that’s so pitiful, no one would do that willingly, they must be forced into it” is fucking offensive.

          Millions of people feel stuck in their jobs and “don’t feel like they have much choice.” Walmart, coffee shops, data entry, whatever. But if it’s sex work, all of a sudden it’s something to be ashamed of?

          Yeah, sure there’s trafficking out there, and that is horrible. But don’t conflate the two. Don’t just assume that someone doing sex work is being trafficked. Just like you don’t constantly assume someone doing any other job must also be a trafficked slave or something. Get it?

    • thetreesaysbark@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      I wonder if there’s a third type too where a person has an extremely busy life and doesn’t have time or possibly doesn’t want an intimate relationship.

      I don’t know if it’s “right” that this type of person pays for sex. I think it makes sense as long as they respect the person that they’re paying and understand this person does not ‘belong’ to them - but this last point appears to be a problem for people whenever they pay anyone for anything.

      • Hot Saucerman@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        There’s plenty of other types, those were just the ones I had time to write about before I pop off to work for the day.

      • VerdantSporeSeasoning@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        Your comment led me towards an amusing thought: in the Harry Potter universe, goblins sell things to wizards for the duration of the wizard’s life, but then they expect it to go back to the goblins because ownership works differently for them vs wizards. Wizards don’t always/usually understand or respect that. So… If I ever was in the position to open a brothel, perhaps I’d name it “The Goblin’s Den.” I… Don’t know what kind of clientele that would attract though.

      • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I wonder if there’s a third type too where a person has an extremely busy life and doesn’t have time or possibly doesn’t want an intimate relationship.

        That would be me. I work 60 hours a week most weeks. I just want regular, casual, no strings attached sex.

        Unfortunately I can’t actually afford sex workers, but some day…

    • amelia@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      Thank you for putting what’s pretty much exactly my view on the topic into words.

      I would like to add though that I expect of men using sex services to thoroughly check and make sure that the women whose service they use provide this service by their own choice, which means they are in no way forced, not by pimps but also not by financial hardship.

      With this constraint I’m afraid that many if not most existing sex services are actually probably not ethical to use.