You’re running late for an important job interview due to unexpected traffic. Instead of calling ahead with a white lie about a “family emergency,” you arrive 15 minutes late, tell the truth about the traffic, and lose the opportunity to a punctual candidate
At your current job, you notice a coworker taking credit for your ideas. Rather than confronting them or subtly highlighting your contributions, you stay silent, believing honesty will prevail. Months later, they receive a promotion while you’re passed over
Your neighbor’s tree branches are encroaching on your property, damaging your roof. Instead of trimming them yourself, you follow the legal process, sending certified letters and waiting for responses. By the time you’re legally allowed to act, a storm causes significant damage to your home
One evening, you witness a minor hit-and-run. You report it immediately, providing a detailed statement to the police. This results in hours of questioning, court appearances, and eventually, retaliation from the offender’s friends, all because you did the “right thing.”
Now, let’s see how this pattern of strict rule-following escalates: You wake up one morning to find your favorite coffee mug has a small chip on the rim. Following product safety guidelines to the letter, you discard it immediately, denying yourself the simple pleasure of your morning routine.
While buying a new mug, your car gets a flat tire in the parking lot. Adhering strictly to your car manual’s instructions, you call for professional help instead of changing it yourself, resulting in a hefty service fee and hours of lost time.
At work, your boss implements a new, inefficient process. Instead of suggesting improvements, you follow it to the letter, watching your productivity plummet. You’re put on a performance improvement plan, despite your unwavering compliance with company policies. Stressed and exhausted, you’re involved in a minor fender bender. You immediately admit fault, provide a detailed statement to your insurance company, and agree to pay the deductible without question. Here’s where your commitment to rules and honesty leads to dire consequences:
Your insurance company uses your honest statement against you, raising your premiums significantly. They begin investigating the claim, questioning every aspect of the incident and your medical history. You patiently wait on hold for hours, fill out every form meticulously, and provide all requested documentation promptly. You never complain, never escalate your case, and never seek legal advice, trusting the system to work as it should.
Months pass as you struggle financially. The insurance company continues to delay, citing the need for more information. You comply with every request, no matter how invasive or time-consuming. Your health deteriorates due to stress and inability to afford proper medical care. You consider seeking help but decide against it, believing that following the proper channels will eventually yield results.
Years go by. Your unwavering commitment to honesty and rule-following has cost you your job, your savings, and your health. The constant worry and blind faith in the system have consumed your life. Tragically, before any resolution is reached, the years of stress, inadequate medical care, and financial hardship take their final toll. You pass away, leaving behind an unresolved insurance dispute and a family burdened with debt.
In the end, your steadfast adherence to rules, laws, and absolute honesty resulted in exactly what you warned against – waiting endlessly, only to die before receiving any resolution or compensation. This grim outcome serves as a stark reminder that sometimes, a pragmatic approach and assertively advocating for oneself can be crucial in navigating life’s challenges and bureaucratic systems.
That was a bubble bath with candles and wine thought.
Because integrity
Maybe I’m alone here but don’t we all typically use our best judgement when deciding whether telling the truth vs “nudging” the truth will work out better and if it is even worth the moral dilemma?
I think so. I don’t think how act in these cases is a moral principle, poured in concrete, but really depends on the expected long-term outcome. And if that doesn’t work out, that’s when the learning happens.
I think there is a pretty marked difference between honesty and passivity that you’re conflating here.
For missing the job interview that passed you for a punctual interviewer - I think it’s fine to be honest in that situation but if it were me, I’d also blame myself for not leaving my house earlier to account for the traffic.
At the current job you could be honest AND active about standing up for yourself at work by providing evidence that you are one doing the work. There’s no rule that says you can advocate for yourself without being honest.
As for reporting the minor hit and run - maybe it’s because I live in a city, but if I wasn’t the person getting hit, and the person wasn’t injury beyond a scrape/bruise then I wouldn’t have reported it. Honest to god, not my problem. I would only do it if the victim decides to prosecute the driver/instigator and was asking to me to be the witness, I wouldn’t go out of my way to do it. Obviously if the scale of the accident was different - imagine something life threatening - then I would then report it, because then the person who caused the accident deserves to have consequences for their actions. And in that case even if I had to spend countless of hours in litigation, I would do it because it’s the right thing to do, not because I need to be rewarded or thanked for it.
I could keep going down the list, but I guess the main point is, rules are written for a reason, but rules were also written by humans. Intrinsically, that means they are sometimes flawed, and it’s a matter of using critical thinking and risk/reward assessment to determine when they should be followed or not.
Holy shit I am not reading all that, especially when the first three paragraphs all describe the habits of someone who just acts like Mr Rodgers was too hardcore for him.
These are all pretty inflated, worst case scenarios. I won’t say I’ve never told a white lie but I go by the old fashioned golden rule and do unto others. I do my best to treat other people with decency and respect (which includes being truthful mostly) and have by and large received that back in spades.
Your second example is not honesty; it’s cowardice.
Why should we return the shopping cart when no one else does?
Sometimes just because it feels good to do the right thing and isn’t much effort.
You get it
I’m believe we attract relationships with people who are similar.
That’s an interesting read, I believe we should be honest to certain extents and we should follow the rules to a certain extent.
The part where you shouldn’t be honest or follow the rules is the part where if you do follow the rules or be honest results in a significant loss for you.
It’s all about how you play the game of life, bending the rules and being dishonest isn’t a bad thing if done for the right purposes or for a greater good.
You’re describing a very sad society.
Or maybe there’s no such thing as sociaty, just individuals? Who knows