• Farid@startrek.website
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    arrow-down
    6
    ·
    4 months ago

    Lemmy back to making assumptions about comments. Not in the least indicated by the amount of downvotes to my original comment. Also Lemming really don’t like hearing truths that don’t vibe with them.

    But to address your comment, I suppose you didn’t say anything wrong, but it assumes that I don’t know about adverse effects of corporal punishment and somehow approve of it.

    I come from culture where corporal punishment is the default. 90-95% of boys (not so sure about girls, should be much less) experienced it, at least in the years of my childhood (it luckily seems to be going down, from my personal experience). But this doesn’t mean that 95% of boys get beaten to pulp with a bludgeon. Most of the punishment is a slap on the back of the neck or something equivalent. Do I approve of it? No. But unlike some, I’m also willing to acknowledge that it’s by far not the worst thing a parent can do, and the amount of potential trauma is likely negligible. And most children don’t see these as “parents turning on them” or “life threatening experience”. (Source: was a child who went to many different schools with children of various socioeconomic status)

    I wasn’t saying I was fortunate, I’m pretty sure I have enough traumatic experiences, including some instances that I remember to this day. And just because all of what I said above is true, you don’t have to assume that my comments are an emphatic endorsement for child-beating, or beating any living creature, for that matter.

    • AWildMimicAppears@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      4 months ago

      Parents who dont respect the bodily integrity of their children are already on the path to more serious corporeal punishment, and that is something that does happen, even if you didn’t see it. Furthermore, it perpetuates the issue, since the children (like you!) learnt that it is a valid parenting tool, and among those there are again future parents who take it further than a small slap, and so on and so on… simply say no to corporeal punishment.

      and by the way, it does not take grievous bodily harm to traumatize children. verbal abuse takes it’s toll too, creating deep-seated psychological issues in many children.

      The problem is that during childhood, the parents are literally the only lifeline for a child. Every experience that betrays the trust that children HAVE to have towards their parents has potential for trauma. A few isolated incidences might not do damage, but it’s like playing roulette: the more often you play, the higher the chance your number comes up, creating lifelong consequences like anxiety/fear/depression (or when happening in the first few years of your life, personality disorders like my AVPD), inability to have a stable relationship, or bonding issues with your future children.

      Don’t hit your children. Don’t yell at your children either. Do not make excuses for people who do this.