So I’ve realized that in conversations I’ll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I’ve been thinking that it’s not as inclusive to women/trans people.
For example I would say:
“What’s up guys?” “How’s it going man?” "Good job, my dude!” etc.
Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y’all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.
So what are some better options?
Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.
The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.
Cunts
We can close this thread now. The question has been answered.
instance name checks out
Found the Australian
In New Zealand of all places!
They wish they could be our western island.
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Fucks
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Shits
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Turds
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Maggots
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Oi! You’re a good cunt!
Fellow bipedal meat-things.
“What’s up everypony?”
y’all
Y’all doesn’t get enough love. It is gender neutral and extremely versatile.
Vosotros agrees.
Ustedes if you’re less formal or you live outside Spain 😁
Or in German: euch
I’m under the impression that you pronounce it the same way this cat looks.
You know… that’s about right.
😂😂😂😂😂
I still wonder why English (a Germanic language) doesn’t have its own pronoun for the plural 2nd person like German (euch) or Dutch (jullie), I think it kinda helps with distinction between talking to one person and talking to multiple people.
The problem is… what pronoun should we choose? I think “yinz” would sound kinda cool, but nobody outside of a very specific spot in the US actually uses it (other than myself I guess).
I agree. It’s the plural of “you” that should be the official standard, since it disambiguates “you.” It can even be broadened to include larger groups via “all y’all,” as in, not just y’all in talking to, but all y’all in the house.
It can replace “guys”, but not “man,” though.
I use y’all a lot and im near Chicago
I’ve started using it and I’m Canadian.
I’ve started using it and I’m north of Canada … In Detroit
Did you know that you can be north of Canada … in California?
https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-75f887668c7f322a0dd1a226e128cea3
What in the world. They need to fix that on the next patch.
you’uns
Youse if you’re a Geordie.
further down under you may hear “hey, yous lot…”
yinz
“What is up, my mammals?”
Are assuming my genus?
Cheese bags.
'round here “guys” has become gender neutral. But “folks” is my go-to.
Same. And i will die on the hill that dude is gender neutral. Dudette sounds like a mini dude, and no way am i calling into question any dudes “dudeness” on account of their gender.
My 8 yr old grand daughter calls everyone “bro”. Including her mom!
Thats my point! My cis woman SO? dude. My trans woman friend? dude. Shes no longer with us, but my very very princess like girl dog? fucking dude.
I feel like i def call my SO, bro, too.
I subscribe to the “Goodburger” school of thought on the subject: I’m a dude, you’re a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes.
What about El Duderino, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing? 😁
Yes to receiving, no to giving. :p
Guy is actually from the proper name Guy, variant of Guido. It was originally used as a mild insult, refering to Guy Fawkes, infamous terrorist.
I think “guys” is perfectly gender neutral, in the same way “you idiots” is.
In Australia the gender-neutral term is ‘Cunt’.
I thought it was mate
I stand corrected.
While a great word, in my neck of the woods that wouldn’t go over well.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
What’s up carbon based earthlings.
A lot of people use “folks” for plural.
I feel like “guys” is fairly un-gendered but people disagree with me. Personally, I haven’t used the word “guys” to refer to anything male in what seems like forever.
“Bud” and “fella” are good singulars.
I really, really wish we could degender “guy” and “guys”. I know plenty of people of all genders that use the words in general to describe people, objects, concepts, everything. The only holdouts are people that insist on it specifically meaning males. Ironically, these people are often the hardcore feminists.
If other English words can change their meanings and be claimed/reclaimed by certain groups, why can’t others?
Take guy! Use it to describe whatever you want! Free it of its historically phallic shackles!
Guy was originally gender neutral as it was used to call someone stupidly bold (iirc). The term was most often used toward a single gender that was known for being stupidly bold and became synonymous with that gender. That’s how it became gendered.
Yeah, I agree with you gal, while we’re at it I wish we could degender “gal”, “chick”, and “doll” too. Equality for all!
This sounds not to dissimilar to those who argued that legalizing gay marriage would lead to people marrying horses or their cars.
I’m a cis woman in IT, I’m guy, dude, man, bro… I don’t really care. You can change to make a specific person feel more confortable but most woman don’t care to be dude or guy
I used to have a maths teacher who called almost every number “guy”.
“And this guy goes to zero, while this guy goes to infinity!”
“Guys” is ungendered.
Reconsider whether it’s worth being friends with people that insist on fighting over the term “guys”.
And if you are surrounded by a lot of particularly sensitive people, just call them “friend” or “friends”. It works for people you both like and dislike. Glorious.
If you are in the Midwest, Guys is absolutely gender neutral.
Edit: downvote me all you want guys, it won’t change the truth.
Meh, people who want to fight over the term ‘guys’ are in the minority.
They can probably just be ignored.
Comrade.
☭
Our tovarich
Guys is probably the most neutral of the ones you mentioned.
A wise man once said, “I’m a dude, he’s a dudes, she’s a dude. We’re all dudes. Hey!”
Strange though, that when you ask most men how many dudes they’ve slept with suddenly, she’s not a dude…
As a former resident of San Diego I have no problem sleeping with dudes. Because everyone is dude.
People think they’re clever when they ask “would you sleep with the dude?” My response is " bold of you to assume that I haven’t." Everyone is dude. You can try to twist things as much as you like but dude normalization reigns supreme.
I was talking about the default assumptions people make when they hear the word. Your circumstances don’t come in to it, unless your claim is that most people share your experiences
In San Diego the default assumption of “dude” is that it can be literally anyone or any thing.
The people there accepted this decades ago. It’s not one person’s experience. It’s a shared experience of millions. It’s a geographically specific situation with the Smurf language phenomenon. Any noun can be Smurf and everyone there understands the smurfing meaning when it’s smurfing said.
There’s a very big difference between “dude”, referring to someone you’re talking to, and “a dude”, referring to someone you were talking about.
Not to me there isn’t…
It’s like the difference between “my shit”, “your shit”, and “that shit”. You’re not actually referring to your own things as feces, or calling it “shitty”. It’s just your shit. As in “Don’t touch my shit”. But when you’re referring to someone else’s shit as “your shit” or “that shit” it’s more derogatory. Like, “clean up that shit” or “get your shit out of here”.
The context changes “shit” from derogatory to neutral. Similarly, “dude” can be both gender specific and neutral depending on context.
Note that people are still allowed to prefer not to be referred to as “dude”, but it’s a gender neutral term in many contexts nonetheless.
That’s just how our language works. You can also use the word “fuck” in many ways that have wildly different meanings.
It’s funny how “just how it works out” always leads to “neutral” words having double meanings that equal “man” but never “woman”
Maybe it’s not “just how it works” and maybe it’s just bias…
You’re literally arguing that this word should specifically exclude women, while complaining that double meanings never include women. It makes no sense. Why wouldn’t you want to take power over the word to make it apply to women too?
There is no world where “Check out that dude” will mean a woman.
It will always be “neutral” or masculine.
And that’s not neutral.
I have zero interest in fake neutrality
That’s because context matters.
“You’re shit” and “You’re the shit” mean completely different things
Of course. No one literally thinks that “dude” always means man.
The issue isn’t the obvious truth of the different meanings. The issue is that those different meanings aren’t neutral like they claim to be, because they rely on the idea of men being the “default” state of people.
There’s a reason there isn’t exactly a large number of words in use that can men “woman” and “everybody” and that’s because most men would be uncomfortable with that.
Yet somehow, the opposite is fine?
Ive generally always agreed with the former comment, but I’ve heard this argument a few times and it does demonstrate the disconnect well. I’ve switched it up to a simple y’all.
Yep. Something that can only ever mean “neutral” or “man” isn’t neutral
Out of the mouth of babes… 🥰
I believe that sentiment was also uttered by another wise man. A man of his time. Mr. Jeffrey Lebowski.
The simplest approach is to accept language is inherently gendered, and at a certain point it is exhausting to either take offense to everything or walk on eggshells.
I’m southern, so I use y’all almost exclusively lol
I’m more of a “be the change you wish to see” kinda person. I’ll neutralize my language to encourage others to do the same, eroding the banks of the river of language in the direction I wish it to go.
Nice picture
Did you just assume my language?
I mean buddy is already gender neutral.
So is “guys” as far as I’m concerned.
“Dude” is the definitive gender neutral term.
I am thoroughly confused, isn’t “Dudette” a term that’s used for female Dudes? Or “her Dudeness” if you aren’t into that whole brevity thing.
I thought that was just a meme name. Not like a real one.
Once a trans woman told me that “buddy” is gendered, but I didn’t— still don’t— understand that. But recently a customer called me buddy, then when he heard my voice he apologized and called me ma’am. So I don’t know anymore.
Yah, I don’t get that. Buddy is quite clearly friendly and non-romantic. Some people feel it is gendered, and probably why you have kids named Buddy. Oh well.
