Got addicted to Farmville. Should have known right then that it wasn’t going to work.

Forgot we were dating when she was the one who started the relationship.

She was learning to play the guitar but wasn’t very good at it. I also started learnig so we could play together. I was starting to get decent, learned a song and decided to play it to her.

Halfway through the song she freaked out and shouted that if I ever play in front of her again she’ll break up with me.

She broke up with me abruptly because I just wasn’t a boyfriend like Edward was to Bella and then 6months later she asks me out again and then 6 months from then she breaks up with me because I told her “I love you” and according to her, that meant “I want to have sex with you very soon” so she broke up with me again.

High school, man.

She followed me into the men’s washroom and made out with me after I just puked then sucked my dick. We dated for 2 years after that.

Pray for forgiveness every time we had sex

We were getting ready to have sex. I saw that one of our blanket had a brown stain on it, and she said she had wiped her hands on it after eating chocolate. We had sex. Months later, she admitted that she actually wiped her ass with the blanket to make sure she didn’t have shit on her asshole. She was nasty af, but we ended up breaking up for another reason. She was a deranged narcissist. I’m not saying this as a layperson that watched YouTube videos to get over the relationship. I actually went to a therapist that is a nationally renowned specialist on narcissistic relationships.

I had an ex that wanted to take a break for a bit because they wanted to “give me up” for Lent. They said I was the most important thing to them at the time, so it was kind of sweet and romantic…but definitely strange as well.