lemmy.ml has a completely different idea of how it wants to be run. That happens to have been hurt a lot less by a sudden massive influx of new users, but that wasn’t the reason it was different. What do you even think beehaw could have done that would have better given their goals?
Not really. That has to be a bug in kbin, not a problem with Lemmy. Lemmy allows admins to delete stuff off their own instance, but kbin shouldn’t be just accepting that as a mod action from any admin on any server it’s federated with. That doesn’t even make sense. I assume it’s just a weird interaction of different ways of handling things on kbin and Lemmy.