The sound is provided entirely by a neglected Technics 1200 that nobody knows how to adjust accept the barback that only works on Wednesdays and Fridays.

You too can learn this secret of the ages! You just need to be able pay for my one hour Webinar and Goon on camera for at least three!

For only $99 USD all will be explained via a one on one Webinar.

I have an ancient hermetic method of getting off that requires neither computer or phone. Enquire within if you seek this ancient knowledge.

But then every jabrony would be able to make money.

Mooching off of samples, I’d guess.

The grocery/retail worker Union in my city sucks for newbs. Takes a large chunk of your paycheck every two weeks until you gain seniority after 24 months, then you can be a lazy bastard as much as you want.

Unions are great, some suck.

I should’ve been a teamster, so lazy and surly…

It sounds like an old wives tale, and maybe I’m naturally resistant, but if I consistently press my tongue to the roof of my mouth as I chop onions, I do not cry.

Anecdotal, of course.

I give absurd humor, even if it seems low effort, a pass.

Imagine how gross/dumb Monty Python sketches were to the Lost Generation. How much did The Kids In The Hall rile up Boomers?

How terrible does early South Park and Beavis and Butthead look to me now that I have a couple decades to reflect on them.

Zoomers are potentially the most existentially detached generation we have seen in a while, and I’m excited to see what they create, if my old Xennial ass lives that long.

Pfft. Afraid of melting, huh? Try one armed sit ups in molten lava.

That explains a number of things. I thought it was fancy landlord talk for French Style Studio Apartment.

No wonder my rent was so below market rate.

What’s an Oubliette?

Vitamin E (tocopherols) are also preservatives that can be added to organic food.

Mustard if you are especially desperate.

Bep bup! German Bot here!

“Das ist richtig” means “That is true”

Like and follow this bot so its creator may someday claw themselves out of the joyless pit they have dug themselves.

: pours one out for every dude that had a GF that lost herself to a Pinterest Interest wall: (or vice versa)

Quickly? Granted, it was over a decade ago, but it took 6-8 years for Myspace to die proper , by my recollection.

I still wish I could bop over there and check in on bands that probably imploded a decade ago.

Try an all natural solid bar shampoo. I went from my hair feeling lank and greasy in day two after a wash to only having to wash it twice a week.

I feel like the chemicals in just mainstream shampoo reak havoc on hair and lock you in to a daily use cycle.

This post reminded me to take my meds.

When you agree for a fifth time in German it’s actually a cheeky way of saying you disagree. /S