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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 15th, 2023

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  • If I had a friend I knew for decades that was convicted of some awful shit like this, I’d find it pretty easy to just not write a letter about their good character. Maybe I never saw even a hint of the monster that was convicted, but it’d be pretty messed up for me to just ignore the reality of the present and talk about how good they were to me in the past. Attesting to someone’s character has a limit. They could have very easily just kept their mouths shut on this topic not supported a convicted rapist. My hypothetical friend can go deal with the consequences of their own actions themselves while I try to internally come to terms with the fact that my friend betrayed me by lying to my face for so long.


  • An ad-free web is definitely a pipe dream. But a targeted ad-free web should be a simple option available to users. I’d guess that the majority of the public doesn’t care too much about being tracked, and may even appreciate having their relevant interests targeted so that they see an ad that is more interesting to them. The problem is that, for those of us who don’t want to be targeted, there is no simple way to disable that. Companies have baked their ad targeting directly into the functionality of their platforms so it’s incredibly difficult to avoid targeted ads if you still want to use the most popular sites. I think this is the reality that is unacceptable.

    Every browser should have a simple toggle to enable targeted ads and it should be every site should respect this. I’m not super educated on Google’s Topics solution, but maybe the step away from cookies could theoretically support that kind of reality. I don’t think Google is going to lead the charge on that kind of change, but we certainly need to get away from cookies somehow.



  • The US has limits on free speech in the name of public health and safety. There’s no assumption of limitless free speech in the US. People who cry “free speech” typically have no understanding of its actual legal definition in the country and just want an excuse to be a bigoted asshole without consequences.

    Twitter, not being part of the government, gets to decide what content they allow and doesn’t need to worry too much about the legal definition of free speech. But, despite Musk’s claims, Twitter is not actually a space of limitless free speech. They’ve taken plenty of actions since he took over that limit the speech of individuals he disagrees with. Twitter is just interesting in giving a platform to hate. There’s certainly money to be made in monetizing hate (see Trump), but hopefully it doesn’t work out well in the end for Twitter or Musk.


  • The managers don’t want a fight so they’ll just give them what they want so they leave.

    Unfortunately, this contributes to the problem. It’s a reward for being an asshole. I don’t blame managers or staffers for giving in just to get rid of the asshole because it’s not worth getting screamed at. But it’s like the “customer is always right” approach devolved into “being an asshole gets you free shit”. I wish corporate culture was “treat our employees well and we’ll treat you like a king, be an asshole and you’re banned for life” or something along those lines.

    Also, your money recommendations are on point and OP should definitely do some smart saving while they have the extra cash. It’ll help them out a lot later in life.


  • I observed and participated in that exchange and I also found it to be fairly disheartening, especially since it came from an admin. All I can say is that you should try not to let it weigh you down.

    For the most part, my exchanges on this site have been positive and supportive and I’d like to think that will be the norm in the future.


  • If you have troubles with notifications; I beg and implore you; Learn about how to train your device! Learn which applications are sending notifications, how to block apps that send unimportant notifications, and most importantly how to manually silence your device when you are not in a time or place you are willing to receive notifications and how to un-silence your device so you receive important ones as well!

    This is not anywhere near as simple as you make it out to be. I’m tech-savvy, ensure my phone is configured exactly the way I want it, and do not have any issues with phone addiction. However, I am still constantly annoyed by unwanted notifications. App updates regularly introduce new ways to notify you that can be disabled, but are defaulted to enabled. Also, many (most?) apps do not allow fully granular notification adjustment and just smash most things under “General”. I may want GrubHub to ping me when my order’s on the way, but I do not want them pushing promotions at me. (Note: I picked GrubHub at random, but my example is actually 100% true. The only way to get away from their promotional notifications is to disable all notifications.) I absolutely understand the desire to just get away from the app world entirely.

    My wife has the same phone as I do. She has no issues with using her phone, but I would not describe her as tech savvy and she really doesn’t have an interest in learning all the ins and outs of every app. I don’t blame her because my own experience proves that you can be a highly advanced user and still experience frustration. But, mostly, I don’t think it’s something she should have to spend time on. The general population is not going to become an expert on anything and default functionality should be catered to them. Currently, default functionality is driven by ads and engagement rather than usability, and I don’t see that changing any time soon.

    Choosing a dumbphone is a very valid way to just eliminate that issue entirely. It’s not a lazy choice, it’s a practical one about how one wants to spend their time.







  • For some reason, I hadn’t even considered the use of Blokada or similar solution, even though I’m familiar with them and AdGuard-home locally. I’m definitely going to get a VPN or DNS based adblocker in place for them, that should help out a bit.

    RSS is also a really good idea, but I’ll admit that I’m a complete newb on that front. I have it on my list to explore RSS options for myself, so maybe I’ll consider my dad’s needs when I’m doing some digging, too.




  • side note: One thing I noticed they really hated across all devices (and frankly, I hate it too) are pop-ups. Not pop-up ads because I blocked those for them, but app or system pop-ups. If they open an app and they get hit with 15 unskippable tutorial pop-ups, they will just hit the lock button and walk away. They will come back later, wake the device up, see they still have to go through with the tutorial, and then call me and ask how it “broke”. I highly suggest configuring devices to minimize this as much as possible. It makes them feel like they are losing control over the device and makes them panic or get frustrated, and honestly I can’t blame them. It’s horrible ux design.

    Do you have any tips for this? This is an issue that plagues all their devices. Not just tutorials, but warnings and update messages, too. From a security perspective, app updates are important, but they always seem to bring some new info pop-up, whether on a phone or a laptop. My parents don’t get frustrated and walk away, but they definitely never read the pop-ups.