The Department of Homeland Security said it will seek the arrest and deportation of those subject to the policy change if they fail to depart the U.S. in the next 30 days. Officials are urging migrants to use the newly repurposed CBP Home smartphone app to register for self-deportation.

“Please use our smartphone app to register with the gestapo” isn’t the cyberpunk future I wanted.

Easy Mode: Amish Paradise

Hard Mode: Shia LaBeouf

“Hopefulism”? I didn’t know we had a slur for optimists now.

Don’t leave the rest of us in suspense; should we be using APIs???

I think the best possible response to a question like this is just to say “yes”, and refuse to elaborate further.

I’m sorry, but I just wanted to say that being charged $16k for emergency medical attention doesn’t sound like a mistake on your part.