Do you really need all that? Is there a local copy shop (often public libraries, drug stores…) that have some of those services? Sometimes they have better quality printers (photo printers for example). While you pay more per page, do you really do whatever it is enough to make it worth the cost of the printer vs just going elsewhere? There are many middle grounds (black and white printer. Use your phone camera as a scanner) that are clearly worse than what you want, but still good enough for most purposes and you can use the better option when you need it.
The answer to the above of course depends on your specific situation so there isn’t one right answer. It is always work thinking about though.
I get on the first airplane to Europe and apply for political asylum when I get off.
Unless you already have strong connections and relationships with everyone else in the Kremlin you won’t last very long.