Same, the subscription page is essentially my homepage. It has exactly the content I want on it, and I can always use the sidebar recommendations if I feel like browsing for something new after my queue is complete.

My response comes down to what I feel the other person’s intent is. If they’re a troll, I don’t engage to begin with - downvote and move on. If we entered into a conversation but I find that they’re arguing in bad faith (they want to argue, not reach an understanding), then I say something like “I’m not going to argue with you about it, but I appreciate your perspective” (even if I don’t). If it seems like it could be a useful disagreement, though, I’ll consciously remind myself that there’s a person behind the text, and I’ll continue the conversation until it reaches an end. It may be uncomfortable, but remembering that we’re all just humans being human helps me tone myself down.

I agree, and I would extend this thought to also include situations where it’s simply the wrong audience for your post. The content itself may not have anything wrong with it, but if you post a casual joke or comment without much depth in a community that’s built on deep conversations and well thought out replies, for example, you’re likely to be downvoted simply because the context wasn’t appropriate.

This sparks a few different thoughts for me:

1. I believe there are a few Lemmy instances that don’t have downvotes enabled. (Beehaw might be one of them, but don’t quote me on that.) If downvotes are a stress point for you, you could try joining one of those instances.
2. I personally find both upvotes and downvotes to be useful as a way for me to quickly see the community’s reaction to a piece of content. If I’m scrolling through my feed and see a post with many downvotes and few upvotes, for example, I know that post is unlikely to interest me and will move on. Conversely, a highly upvoted post or one with a mix of both upvotes and downvotes is more likely to have a good conversation in the comments in my experience.
3. If I make a post that receives a large number of downvotes - or if most of my posts tend to be downvoted - that’s a signal to me that I’m either not communicating my message well (confusing, passive aggressive, etc.) or that my message itself may not be welcome (hate speech, misinformation, etc.). In either case, I use that as a mental trigger for me to reflect on my posts rather than a reason to become unhappy with the community/platform as a whole.