Emetophobia. Fear of vomiting. I’m super nauseated just thinking about it to type it out. It led to a semi eating disorder when I was young because I didn’t trust any food to be properly kept or cooked. Took a food safety class for work and learned proper food handling and preparation, so I eat a lot better now. But I definitely come off as rude if I don’t trust the person that’s cooking food for me, like my partner’s family, or friends that don’t understand.
I can’t help friends or loved ones when they’re sick if that’s one of their symptoms, which sucks. If someone has a nasty cough that gags them I go into a panic. If I hear someone get sick I instantly start crying, sweating, shaking, and my mind gets fuzzy with panic.
I really hate it. I always thought I had arachnophobia, but I just really really don’t like spiders. I don’t get the mind numbing panic that, to me, would classify it as a phobia.
And yeah, because of the phobia, I haven’t gotten sick like that since I was 8, and I was born in the 80s. Plenty of fearful times, but cold water and pepto helped me through.
I gotta go dissociate on some meme posts for a bit now.
I finally unlocked the confidence to be the version of me that I want to be. Got the haircut I’ve always wanted, have it dyed the colour I want, I’m getting a new piercing soon, and I’m planning out the tattoo I’m going to get once I have some spare money. It’s been a journey to get here, but I’m so fucking happy with who I am and I no longer feel the need to apologize for being comfortable as my self.