I came across this recently and thought it was a super interesting and thorough examination of “the closet” or “coming out” of it.

  • araly@beehaw.org
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    10 months ago

    i’ve never liked the idea of having to come out of the closet. I want to be able to say “oh, my boyfriend cooked my lunch, I don’t know what spices he used, i can ask him”, without it turning into “oh i didn’t know you were gay, thanks for letting me know, so brave” or something weird. we were talking about lunch, not who i like to sleep with

    • Sombyr@lemmy.one
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      10 months ago

      I’m not sure if gay men have to deal with that more, or if it’s me specifically who’s weird for never having anybody do that to me when I mention my wife.

      The one time anything like that did come up, I was the one who brought it up and the dude was just like “Yeah, I knew you were into women before you even said anything. You’ve just got that vibe.”

      Point is somebody took the door off my closet.

      • Sekoia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 months ago

        I’ve been told several times “ah yeah I had kinda guessed” as a bi dude. Literally no idea how you could tell, considering I look the same as before I figured myself out.

        • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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          10 months ago

          Our environment has those things figured out more quickly than we ourselves.

          They look from the outside in and a closet is easy to spot. But inside the closet it is dark.

    • Cass.Forest@beehaw.orgM
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      10 months ago

      This 100%. I also don’t like being at a new job or in a situation with new people and I don’t know if I should come out or stay stealth, both as gay and as a gender. Like I shouldn’t have to edit my language to keep on the good side of a group of people I haven’t really gotten to know or really care about yet.