Do as you like, but don’t imply that it is necessary to be kind to those who question LGBT+ people’s right to equity. It is you who are working for them when you imply we will lose allyship by not being nice enough.

many people just see the community as hostile and unwilling to alleviate ignorance

…which is itself a bigoted belief. No one who approaches in good faith legitimately believes this. You’ve been deceived.