Baby, I feel like I been cat-grooming a fuckin Snatchsquatch. I got hot towels, a basin of hot water, clippers and a razor. Spread em. I’m killing that fuckin thing.

Rent a tuxedo and a limousine; tell her you’re taking her out for a nice night, and do so - dinner at a nice restaurant with drinks and all that. Candles and shit. Before dessert comes, get down on one knee. Look her in the eyes and tell her how much she means to you - how you’ll always love and cherish her. Reach into your pocket, and pull out a Venus. Maintain eye contact. Then pop the question.

Buy her a spa day or coupon with a massage or something nice that she likes and include the hair removal option as extra.

Once done make sure you let her know how much you liked the shaved areas. Hopefully she will catch on and continue doing it herself. Otherwise repeat the process. There are even some places where you can buy monthly subscriptions she can go to.

Avoid confronting her on this. Not worth it and you could hurt her feelings. Of course it depends on your relationship with her. If both of you feel comfortable talking and discussing such topics then go ahead.

Just grow out a nice thick beard and go down on her until she turns the tables on you.

Start referring to her as your sexy Gorilla

This will probably end in disaster