I believe it depends on exactly what you define as “intelligent”
I can get behind this. There are many kinds of intelligence and their measurements are subjective.
Within that perspective, I’d say that I’d rather be with someone naive that is capable and eager vs someone stubborn and unwilling to learn.
That’s where I’m at as well. Could go so many different ways; how do I know someone is intelligent? Do their conversations feel particularly deep to me? Do they invest their money well? Good at memorizing baseball facts?
At a certain point yeah, obviously if they just have wind blowing around inside their head it’s unlikely that I would find them desirable as a partner. So in a way it is very important to me. But the vast majority of people are capable of nurturing loving and rewarding relationships rooted in who they are as a whole, whether or not they are remarkably intelligent. So in another way it’s not important at all
Oh no
moooist
it was important for me. i needed a partner near my own wavelength. a person who could challenge me…someone who can see through my bullshit
The longest relationship I ever had: the person would say the craziest, most off-the-wall things in the world. I though they had no sense at all. Then I realized that whenever they said that sort of thing, they would be carefully observing how people reacted. That person frequently asked me for advice, but rarely took it, which was infuriating. Then I realized that they asked lots of people for advice, and carefully considered them all. Eventually I understood that person had solid grades despite serious life distractions, was an excellent judge of character, and was really good at making difficult decisions.
So I guess my point is: there’s all kinds of smarts, and it can be hard to tell who’s got em good.
Intelligence is important, but I think even more important is curiosity and an open mind. There are lots of really smart people who are also closed-minded insufferable know it alls. And if they’re not curious about learning new things, new perspectives, and exploring this amazing world we live in: then what even is this all about?
Scuba
Common sense, maturity, humility, and curiosity are all extremely important to me in a partner. Whether my potential partner is book smart is significantly less important to me than whether they treat others with respect and wanting to improve themselves.
With the superficial stuff out of the way, the bottom line is that the thing that matters most is whether or not I want to spend my limited time with them.
Intelligence is important, but big muscle is importanter.
Very important.
-
I want to be with someone I enjoy talking to.
-
I admit that I couldn’t bring much to the sort of relationship where intelligence isn’t particularly important.
-
Intelligence is heritable to a significant extent, which is important in case children are produced.
One downside (in a sense) is that this approach will probably lead to two very career-oriented people being together, which causes some problems.
Edit: I’m saying this as someone who is significantly above average on the sort of intelligence measured by SATs.
I got a perfect score on my SATs and I’m in my mid thirties and working in a bakery (not as a baker, i just sell bread and clean. It’s lovely).
Granted, it’s part time while I get a master’s degree, but I’ll be working 20 hours a week for mediocre pay when I finish, teaching adult language/integration courses for new immigrants.
Intelligence and ambition aren’t necessarily related, though obviously you get farther if you get good grades. Ambition is correlated with studying, diligence, and focus, so it tends to lead to higher SAT scores.
-
It has always been the most important. Now I’m gonna say something that usually results in people telling me I’m arrogant and sincerely this isn’t arrogance it’s just fact: I’m extremely intelligent. And I could not really have a spouse who wasn’t. When my wife and I met we both found such relief because we both feel this way. She’s highly intelligent and that was the most attractive quality to me.
I recognize though that it’s not the only quality of merit. She’s also extremely kind and loving and supporting, and independent of intelligence those too are extremely attractive and praiseworthy. I guess really I wish everyone could simply find a person who they are attracted to in many many respects. That’s the best foundation I think.
I’m extremely intelligent.
If you feel the need to say it, you probably aren’t as intelligent as you think you are.
True intelligence is knowing how stupid you are. -Socrates
Eh, it’s a largely anonymous internet forum. No one could possibly know from reading a single comment, nor does it exactly afford bragging rights.
Intelligence vs wisdom… he may have the one, but probably not the other.
Extremely, stupid people are boring. Give me a 5/10 PhD student.
Not nearly as important as ethics.
I think it’s important to be on a similar level - to laugh at jokes together and appreciate learning from one another.
I think middle-of-the-road intelligence is fine for me. I find there are some downsides to dating either end of the spectrum. I avoid dating people who either don’t have informed opinions or lean too heavily on intellectual topics like an armchair philosopher without an off switch. Both are incredibly boring to me.
True or pseudo intellectuals are exhausting. What with their logic and ontological empiricism. Bitch, I want to laugh at a limerick about a dude from New England.
Yeah, and I guess I shouldn’t lump together pseudo-intellectuals with highly competent people. I’ll admit that there are a few incredibly intelligent people out there with doctorates and such who keep a level head and are quite the catch, but I find them quite intimidating.
Very. There are different types of intelligence though and I don’t want someone with the exact same intelligence strengths as me. That’s boring. I want some different but complementary intelligence; I like learning from people and I like when a partner us open to learning about my passions. Like a nicely overlapping venn diagram.
Also, I like a person who likes venn diagrams and other data visualization tools.
Essential.
I don’t want to be close to people who: are unable to follow a simple reasoning, consistently assume things that they cannot reliably know, have an 8-or-80 mindset, or conflate their wishes with reality. Because people like this turn the lives of the ones around them into living hells.
Note: I’m talking about intelligence as “ability to reason”. I’m not talking about the set of knowledge that the person amassed over time, or ability to memorise stuff.
Depends what one means by intelligence.
It’s not what you know / think that’s important to me. It’s how you think.
