…ideally one that was both genuine and that you had the confidence and self awareness to interpret as kind. And for bonus points, what’s one you’ve given?

I’m thinking back to the guy in group therapy years ago who told me he always thought of people who swore as not knowing any better words, but that I obviously knew better words and just also swore and even used them artistically and that’s just really stuck with me. Sometimes I wonder how much of my self esteem has suffered not just because I’ve been told not to brag, but also because I’m extremely weird so the compliments I do receive often reflect that.

My bonus one (and I’m not sure how well he was able to take it) was that one of my fellow psych nurses was frequently and obviously terrified any time shit hit the fan, but that somehow still he’d never once failed to have my back. He’d be stuttering the whole way through an incident but I’d walk out of the med room with both halves of a B52 and he’d take one of the syringes without a second thought. He was literally the epitome of “courage isn’t not being scared, it’s being willing to face it.” I should find a nice presentation of that quote somewhere to send him because I’m not sure I phrased it well at the time.

  • geekwithsoul@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    63
    ·
    5 months ago

    I was in my early 20s and was visiting a friend’s house. His wife had a friend visiting that I’d never met. We were introduced and the first words she said to me were “Do you know your features are wasted on a guy?” and then went on to provide specific details.

    We were married a year later. And that was 30 years ago.

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      28
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      Especially eyelashes. It’s bizarre to me that eyelashes are considered feminine when increased eyelash thickness / length is practically a male secondary sex characteristic (turns out testosterone doesn’t magically skip your eyelashes). I’ve always wanted write a historical fiction femdom porn where the men dress like birds of paradise just for the principle of the thing; in nature males are more often the “fairer” sex, lol.

      • shani66@ani.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        17
        ·
        5 months ago

        Man what happened to men’s fashion? We went from heels and frills to grey on black and it’s awful.

      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        5 months ago

        Guy here: I have had multiple female friends and girlfriends tell me I have beautiful eyelashes that they are jealous of.

        I still find it weird… like I understand it is a compliment and that they genuinely wish that they had such natural lashes…

        Probably I just have too many core memories about being bullied for it by guys in high school and middle school.

  • Vanth@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    55
    ·
    5 months ago

    A neighbor saw me walking barefoot to my mailbox and complimented me on my healthy feet.

    Hackles went up thinking he was some foot fetishist who was going to get weird on me. Nope, just a medical person of some sort that works with feet a lot and I genuinely have healthy arches and mobile toes. At least I choose to believe that explanation he gave. Otherwise, I have to assume my neighbor is jerking it every time I walk outside.

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      I have to check people’s feet on admission, 50-50 to make sure there’s no contraband in their socks, but also genuinely to make sure there’s no gangrene or anything considering how many homeless diabetics come through. I’ve seen some feet alright. Nurses also frequently make “olive garden parmesan” jokes about the amount of skin flakes that come off (particularly older) people’s feet when you go to take their socks off. It’s so bad sometimes that you have to be careful not to breathe in or leave your mouth open when you do it because of how they disperse up into the air, except it can still get in your eyes, and you’re rarely expecting it.

      • Vanth@reddthat.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        5 months ago

        Well, I don’t know that my feet are that great but they aren’t shedding any sort of cheese.

  • JesusSon@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    48
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    I got my leg fucked up in a hot sandy land far away. While I was doing rehab I used a cane and walked with a limp. One day I was walking out of an HEB in Houston when a dude dressed like Huggy Bear told me he liked my strut and then told me to “keep on pimpen playa.”

    In retrospect, it sort of makes sense as my limp with the cane looked like I was doing that stereotypical pimp walk but at the time I was very confused lol

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      Honestly all of my patients walking when they previously weren’t is a pimp walk to me so. Usually the ones I see are catatonia though, not ortho. I still vibe deeply with this video.

  • dhcmrlchtdj__@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    45
    ·
    5 months ago

    I was dancing at a club a couple years ago and someone came up to me and yelled without pause “Are you a boy or a girl you’re gorgeous”

  • Noble Shift@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    45
    ·
    5 months ago

    From a French colleague:

    “You are the kind of Italian we like in France.”

    “Wonderful, but I’m American.”

    “I doubt that”

    • Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      23
      ·
      5 months ago

      I’ve had something similar quite a few times.

      Meet someone, talk for a bit, “where are you from?” u.s. “really? You don’t seem American”

      They meant it as a compliment

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      5 months ago

      I was told I looked like a cop several times back when I associated with less desirable parts of society. I think the reason they felt that way is because I showered daily, combed my hair, and had an acceptable level of personal hygiene.

  • RozhkiNozhki@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    33
    ·
    5 months ago

    I had to have an abdominal ultrasound done once and the tech told me I have a great pancreas, “the most beautiful she’s ever seen”. I didn’t know what to say but it made me happy.

  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    32
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    A decade ago, I was walking a few blocks to get a burger, passed by a bar with an outdoor section.

    A fairly sloshed guy stared me up and down, looked at his female friend, back at me and asked “Hey, are you trisexual?”

    Being extremely awkward, significantly autistic, and apparently sufficiently twink, I responded “…sure?”

    Guy got up and kissed me on the cheek.

    I told him to have a nice night and went to get my burger.

    So… yeah. That was the night I discovered what a ‘twink’ is, that I am apparently a twink, and explains all the times I’ve been catcalled by other dudes.

    A shame that I am (basically) straight and only seem to date women who cheat on me or have immense mental health problems.

  • Godthrilla@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    28
    ·
    5 months ago

    The Miss “my state” came to sing the national anthem for a big sports event at my job. I took care of the sound for her and we chatted a little bit. She was constantly barraged by guys coming up and wanting a picture with her, so we didn’t get to have too much of a conversation. She sang the anthem, and was moving on to her next engagement and I said glad to meet you and was about to go back to the rest of my job. She stopped me and said " but we didn’t get a picture together!" I told her it was ok, I understand that it’s part of her job. She insisted and handed HER phone to someone walking by and insisted they take a picture of us. After they returned her phone she looked me in the eye and asked for my phone number so she could send it to me. I have a wonderful girlfriend and I would never cheat on her, but miss “my state” asked ME for my number, and I have been walking on air ever since.

    • EatATaco@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      5 months ago

      Not weird, absolutely awesome. Still upvoted because that’s absolutely awesome.

      • BruceTwarzen@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        5 months ago

        It is pretty weird to assume that everyone needs a picture of her. I look fuckable, take my picture, NOW.

        • GoosLife@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          5 months ago

          She didn’t think he wanted a picture with her. She wanted a picture to remember him. And possibly as a way to get his phone number. She was crushing a little bit on the cool sound guy.

        • EatATaco@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          4 months ago

          Sounds to me like she wanted a picture with him. But even if it was that way, the compliment isn’t weird, she’s just weird.

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      19
      ·
      5 months ago

      One time I was at Chipotle and realized I was staring at the guy putting pico on my soft tacos and I didn’t want him to think he’d done something wrong so I just blurted out that his facial hair suited his face very well and then I felt awkward so I just bolted to the end of the line, got the order to go, and ate in my car, so you give me a little hope that maybe he didn’t think I was completely weird.

  • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    25
    ·
    5 months ago

    An ex from a meaningful, but fraught relationship tried to seduce me a few months after we had broken up. In the interim, I had started dating someone new, and I rejected the advances.

    My ex was angry and lashing out. She said a few random insults about my new partner (implying she had manipulated me with sex), before finally saying “well, I hope she enjoys your magical penis!” (It’s not magical. The tiny wizard hat is purely for decoration.)

  • QProphecy@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    25
    ·
    5 months ago

    This guy once told me “Your hair looks small” as a compliment… I still dont’t know what to make of it.

      • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksOP
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        edit-2
        5 months ago

        After some research, this redditor sums the moment up thus: “Dennis is incapable of complimenting him he doesnt have anything nice to say he doesnt respect Mac he doesnt even like Mac Mac just likes him and this is the foundation of their friendship no one likes Dennis everyone knows hes a scumbag psychopath but Mac admires and worships Dennis and values his opinions over anyone else which is how Dennis thinks everyone should see him he tolerates Mac because he keeps him anchored and from going to far or drowning while still validating Dennis’s chaos and faults so he simply states the first thing he notices about Mac in the moment which is that his hair looks small which it does because he greased it different (obviously making an effort to be noticed by Dennis) When Mac realizes hes just saying what he wants to hear and not being genuine he goes to walk away which is why Dennis does the speach to let him know that he is important not because hes badass or how he looks but because hes always has Dennis’s back”

        I still don’t understand how this could apply to this person’s situation.

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      I feel like I would have to see your hair at the time if you happen to be able to find a picture (or a similar one).

  • neidu2@feddit.nl
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    24
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    A friend of mine said I had a very good hugging-body. I always pictured huggable dudes as big, but I was really lean back then. She said it was because my lanky body somehow automatically fit the shape of her hugs.

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      “Friend,” huh? I’ve jumped the bones of someone I barely knew for that kind of thing.

      • neidu2@feddit.nl
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        5 months ago

        She was my GFs bestie. Her BF was my friend. So yes, it was purely platonic.