In 2016, Steven van de Velde pleaded guilty to three counts of raping a 12-year British schoolgirl. On Sunday, the registered sex offender was knocked out of the Paris Olympics.
I’m on the fence on that. He raped a minor which is not excusable, he possibly ruined her life. How can a person like that be redeemed? Or does he not deserve redemption? He was 19. When I was 19, I was an irresponsible child. There is no proof that he is a pedophile.
Dunno about you, but when I was 19 the thought of raping a child never crossed my mind. He’s spent less than a year in prison, and hasn’t repented for what he did. Redemption has to at the very least come with an understanding that what he did was wrong.
And yes, I agree, 13 months seems way too short. I was correcting the comment above which said less than one year. It’s good also to take into account that prison doesn’t just “end”. There’s a lengthy parole and rehabilitation process after, and your movements and activities are strictly restricted while on parole.
If you see a meaningful difference between pedophelia and ephebophilia you’re probably a kiddie fucker. Especially if you’re trying to use that definition to cover someone’s who’s only fucking 12.
Whether or not fucking a 12 year old isn’t pedophilia or ephebophilia it doesn’t matter.
If you, as an adult, fuck a 12 year old, then you are in fact still a kiddy fucker. Subscribing to dictionary.com’s word of the day won’t change that. It doesn’t matter, and its still just as creepy lmao. Why is that so hard to understand?
Nuance doesn’t mean waiving away whatever immoral shit you want just because you can justify it to yourself.
I was stupid at 19 too, but for me that meant letting my at-the-time boyfriend finish inside even though I didn’t know him nearly well enough. Turned out he was slutting out it with randos and never got tested before our relationship. That’s around the stupid I expect at 19.
Rape is a bit fucking beyond that, don’t you think?
Repeatedly telling people he’s not technically a pedophile is really not in any way helpful. He raped a 12-year-old multiple times. Who is it hurting to call him a pedophile?
Why do you need to call him something if it’s inaccurate? Just call him a child rapist and be done with it. Words have meanings and there is no reason to use them incorrectly.
As for who it’s hurting: everyone. Pedophila literally has nothing to do with rape. It is a disorder. It’s estimated it effects as much as 3% of the population. The vast majority of those people have never done anything wrong. They were simply born that way. The more people conflate the medical term with crimes the less likely pedophiles are going to seek help or treatment. Nobody wants to risk being outed as part of the most hated group of people on the planet.
If you want to actually help children instead of being angry the best course of action is to destigmatize the disorder so people can get counseling without fear of ruining their lives. Forcing people to bottle up their feelings/urges/etc. does not lead to good outcomes.
Do you think maybe medical terms and terms that the general public use aren’t always the same? Like you know when someone says “I broke my toe” and they just fractured it, people are fine with them saying that even though it wouldn’t medically be considered broken, yes?
Similarly, if someone says “I’m feeling depressed today,” do you think most people assume they have clinical depression? I sure wouldn’t.
And sorry, you are not going to destigmatize pedophilia by doing an “umm… actually” every time a child rapist is called a pedophile.
Only because people like you refuse to change. That’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don’t understand why you want to be wrong so badly. What do you even gain from that? In this case using the wrong word isn’t even just wrong it’s objectively harmful but for some reason you want to keep doing it anyway? Why?
Real talk: constantly conflating child rapists with pedophiles is actually a problem. Pedophiles didn’t choose their sexuality, however coming out would destroy their lifes because of how society sees them, so they don’t. Which means they don’t seek help which increases the risk of them acting on it at some point in their life. Even if you feel no sympathy towards them, which I get, them getting treatment is important to reduce cases of child abuse.
Hi, friend. I’m sure you have well-meaning intentions by making this comment. As someone who was a survivor of a similar situation such as this, and who also grew into a 19 year old, I can tell you that from a non-clinical perspective, if you are attracted to a child of early puberty age as a 19 year old adult, I don’t think making this assumption is too far off the table.
I’m sick and tired of coming on here and listening to this discourse about this volleyball player. Thank you for your two sides to every story, attempt at nuance and empathy for a rapist here. As a survivor of CSA, this has never been granted to me or anyone else I know of that has survived something like this. We need a different reaction to people who do these acts to innocent children.
Not entirely sure where you’re going with this. He’s not an irredeemable asshole because he might be a pedophile, he’s an irredeemable asshole because he raped a child and that’s indisputable.
I’m on the fence on that. He raped a minor which is not excusable, he possibly ruined her life. How can a person like that be redeemed? Or does he not deserve redemption? He was 19. When I was 19, I was an irresponsible child. There is no proof that he is a pedophile.
Dunno about you, but when I was 19 the thought of raping a child never crossed my mind. He’s spent less than a year in prison, and hasn’t repented for what he did. Redemption has to at the very least come with an understanding that what he did was wrong.
Edit: slightly more than a year; 13 months
I bet “raping a child” did neither cross his mind, when he did it.
He groomed the child for YEARS before he raped her. It’s wild you’re defending this
Edit: I can’t find the article I thought I read about him first meeting the child when they were 10
Didn’t know that
Sorry I could be wrong, can’t find the article that said the girl was 10 when they met online
There’s a pretty obvious difference between a kid who’s 12, and someone you could reasonably mistake for being an adult (UK age of consent is 16).
He’s spent more than a year in prison.
Also, we can’t take his words for gospel, but atleast he acts as if he’s repented:
“I can’t reverse it, so I have to carry the consequences. It’s the biggest mistake of my life.”
Yes, a whole 13 months. What a punishment for raping a 12-year-old girl over and over.
And that isn’t repenting. Repenting includes an apology for what he did.
He did it multiple times? 🤢
And yes, I agree, 13 months seems way too short. I was correcting the comment above which said less than one year. It’s good also to take into account that prison doesn’t just “end”. There’s a lengthy parole and rehabilitation process after, and your movements and activities are strictly restricted while on parole.
Sadly, yes. I read about what he did and I’m sorry I read about it.
Bro she was like 12. I was also an irresponsible child at 19, but I wasn’t raping 12 year olds, nor did it cross my mind.
Playing devil’s advocate on pedophilia is not it.
You should check the definition of pedophilia.
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Actually I said the following:
Whether or not fucking a 12 year old isn’t pedophilia or ephebophilia it doesn’t matter.
If you, as an adult, fuck a 12 year old, then you are in fact still a kiddy fucker. Subscribing to dictionary.com’s word of the day won’t change that. It doesn’t matter, and its still just as creepy lmao. Why is that so hard to understand?
Nuance doesn’t mean waiving away whatever immoral shit you want just because you can justify it to yourself.
Well actually-ing pedophilia is not a good look.
I was stupid at 19 too, but for me that meant letting my at-the-time boyfriend finish inside even though I didn’t know him nearly well enough. Turned out he was slutting out it with randos and never got tested before our relationship. That’s around the stupid I expect at 19.
Rape is a bit fucking beyond that, don’t you think?
No. People who don’t even bother offering anything in the way of apology for their atrocities do not deserve redemption.
Are you stupid?
The majority of child molesters are not pedophiles. It is more about power dynamics / them being an easy target.
Did you know most child rapists don’t fit pedophilia diagnostic critia?
Edit: I read an article on him and he has a 2 year old son. I really hope he isn’t a pedophile.
If you go by medical definition, that would be hebephilia. Pedophilia is only used with children younger than 11.
The reason in this case could also have been because she was an easy target, the age must not necessarily be the reason.
Repeatedly telling people he’s not technically a pedophile is really not in any way helpful. He raped a 12-year-old multiple times. Who is it hurting to call him a pedophile?
Why do you need to call him something if it’s inaccurate? Just call him a child rapist and be done with it. Words have meanings and there is no reason to use them incorrectly.
As for who it’s hurting: everyone. Pedophila literally has nothing to do with rape. It is a disorder. It’s estimated it effects as much as 3% of the population. The vast majority of those people have never done anything wrong. They were simply born that way. The more people conflate the medical term with crimes the less likely pedophiles are going to seek help or treatment. Nobody wants to risk being outed as part of the most hated group of people on the planet.
If you want to actually help children instead of being angry the best course of action is to destigmatize the disorder so people can get counseling without fear of ruining their lives. Forcing people to bottle up their feelings/urges/etc. does not lead to good outcomes.
Do you think maybe medical terms and terms that the general public use aren’t always the same? Like you know when someone says “I broke my toe” and they just fractured it, people are fine with them saying that even though it wouldn’t medically be considered broken, yes?
Similarly, if someone says “I’m feeling depressed today,” do you think most people assume they have clinical depression? I sure wouldn’t.
And sorry, you are not going to destigmatize pedophilia by doing an “umm… actually” every time a child rapist is called a pedophile.
Only because people like you refuse to change. That’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don’t understand why you want to be wrong so badly. What do you even gain from that? In this case using the wrong word isn’t even just wrong it’s objectively harmful but for some reason you want to keep doing it anyway? Why?
People like me? Refuse to change? I didn’t call him a pedophile.
I’m saying read the room.
Real talk: constantly conflating child rapists with pedophiles is actually a problem. Pedophiles didn’t choose their sexuality, however coming out would destroy their lifes because of how society sees them, so they don’t. Which means they don’t seek help which increases the risk of them acting on it at some point in their life. Even if you feel no sympathy towards them, which I get, them getting treatment is important to reduce cases of child abuse.
Hi, friend. I’m sure you have well-meaning intentions by making this comment. As someone who was a survivor of a similar situation such as this, and who also grew into a 19 year old, I can tell you that from a non-clinical perspective, if you are attracted to a child of early puberty age as a 19 year old adult, I don’t think making this assumption is too far off the table. I’m sick and tired of coming on here and listening to this discourse about this volleyball player. Thank you for your two sides to every story, attempt at nuance and empathy for a rapist here. As a survivor of CSA, this has never been granted to me or anyone else I know of that has survived something like this. We need a different reaction to people who do these acts to innocent children.
Not entirely sure where you’re going with this. He’s not an irredeemable asshole because he might be a pedophile, he’s an irredeemable asshole because he raped a child and that’s indisputable.
Get help before you hurt someone.
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The fact that your reply has fewer points than that rape apologist’s is infuriating, wtf is wrong with people??