Lol i named myself “AI Toothbrush” on a bunch of platforms way back in like 2018 before all the ai shit and its kinda coming back at me.
Nice try big AI. You’re not coming anywhere near my teeth.
Or my data
Or at least take him out to dinner first.
Leverage your username and make that money!
One of the rare cases where this is a serious option: just don’t buy it. People say that for phones that spy on you, but that’s ridiculous because that is quite hard for some people. This is not. Use a regular toothbrush. Duck tape a vibrator motor to the handle if you really feel like that helps. You don’t need the ai, and it is unlikely that you will only ever be able to buy ai toothbrushes.
As a man with ADHD and poor oral hygiene, I need to get one of these just so that the assistant in my toothbrush gets lonely and depressed.
Just when things are starting to get their most bleak, I’ll use it to scrub my toilet.
Roko’s basilisk is gonna have a field day with this one
I pray to leave long enough to see the civil war between the AIs trying to decide whether I should live or die because I find it funny to be nice to some and sadistic to others
I fucking hate brushing my teeth. I cannot understand how so many people seem to just willingly do it like multiple times a day. How do they deal with the feeling of open revolt that washes over every cell in your body when thinking of teeth brushing?
After my first cavity and filling, and the pain of chewing on that side again it was all the motivation I needed to brush and floss first thing every morning, and then brush before bed no matter how much I hate it.
Complete opposite here. I love it. Even flossing. Such a great feeling when your teeth are white and squeaky clean.
a great feeling when your teeth are … clean.
Yeah I’ve had people describe such a feeling but I’ve never experienced it. Closest I’ve experienced is a pleasant feeling of knowing it’s the maximum time before I have to endure that again.
white
I was not raised in the US so that artificial wall of unnaturally blinding white teeth has no value to me. TBH it seems like foot binding, neck-extension or cranial deformation - an extreme status marker that’s fascinating from an anthropological perspective.
artificial wall of unnaturally blinding white teeth
My teeth are white because I take care of them by brushing and flossing every day, going to the dentist regularly, and I don’t smoke. In other words, just by normal oral hygiene. How being responsible and taking care of your body is comparable to neck extension or cranial deformation doesn’t make sense.
I wasn’t trying to comment specifically on you or your teeth, it’s just one of those weird things that people notice about our culture, but people from here don’t realize is not the same in other cultures.
normal oral hygiene
Cranial deformation is just normal infant care in groups where it’s practiced.
Many western cultures practice dental hygiene in a way that doesn’t produce the “bleached wall” look that so many in US culture deem high-status. Teeth slowly change color and natural misalignments develop with less need to artificially modify that.
Teeth in the US are just a way more important site of identity than elsewhere. When people make fun of the US, teeth are often part of it because it’s something we’re way more intense about than other people are.
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Take care of your teeth. If you get problems, it hurts like a bitch, it can ruin you day, every day for years. It’s also expensive as hell. Take care of them, the best that you possibly can.
Try different toothpastes. The very popular ones (Crest, Colgate) I find treacly sweet and disgusting, and I fucking hate mint anything. Arm and Hammer is my go to for that bland goodness. YMMV.
I use an unsweetened charcoal toothpaste, it’s definitely the least unappealing one I’ve found.
For me it’s a texture problem. I didn’t notice until I was prescribed some high fluoride stuff that’s a mildly minty blue gel which is infinitely preferable to most toothpastes I’ve tried (for those curious, it’s a Colgate 5000ppm fluoride toothpaste, prescribed by my dentist because of temperature sensitivity)
You are a disgusting person who no one wants to be around. We deal with it by avoiding people like you
Jokes on you - I’m quick to smile, non-judgemental and a patient conversationalist! 😊 The last time someone have you a compliment in public it might’ve been me and you’d never know! 😘
Yeah I just attach my manual brush to my LadyLove9000 and it gets my teeth way cleaner
I was thinking a vibrator from a device with haptics, but if that’s what you want, go for it.
Well, it’s just something that everyone has a few of lying around the house already
Hopefully they don’t creep up on all toothbrushes like how Smart TVs replaced dumb TVs.
There’s no way in hell I will ever own a toothbrush with any sort of connectivity, but electric toothbrushes really are pretty great. Teeth feel way cleaner.
I’ve heard the sonic ones are amazing because they can clean the pockets between the gum and tooth… never had the money for that though.
I still jerk off manually
Not for long with the GoonMaxxer T-1000, the ultimate AI regulated motorized jerk off solutions to increase your gooning productivity!
God I can only imagine spoonkid reading this sponsor out and it wouldn’t even sound off
Wait, have they made an automated jerk machine yet?
I’m not an adventurous person. I haven’t been to a sex shop at home in decades so I don’t keep up with what’s available out there. But on vacation in Tokyo in 2023, I was at a four story sex shop in Akihabara. The top floor is exclusive to men, no women allowed up there. There are all sorts of fuck dolls and the more intense, expensive dude stuff up there.
Now, what I was not mentally prepared for was the glass display case. I don’t remember much about what else was in the case but the thing that caught my eye was what I can only call “The Device.”
The Device was a very inelegant metal machine that in any other context I would have assumed was some kind of kitchenware. But it had a nozzle on the end and it was incredibly obvious what The Device was there to do. This was not a nice machine, it was a tool with one purpose. I imagine it was incredibly good at that, too.
I was tight on cash for that trip and this thing was listed at 45,000 yen, which was about $375 at the time. I joked with my friends that it would be well worth it. It would have been difficult to get home due to size and I imagine heft. I would have taken The Device back to our rental house and let it suck the soul out of my body. I would have died on that trip and would have had no regrets.
I went back to the same store earlier this year and the glass case had other things in it, The Device nowhere to be found. Someone bought it, took it home, and was claimed by its power. The shelves of the top floors of that shop are now sleek looking plastic and silicon jerk machines that look very user friendly; exactly what you’d expect from a sex toy. But they are probably nothing compared to The Device.
I’m thinking along the lines of like an automated flesh light. It would be interesting if you found this device again online. Maybe a link somewhere.
Aaaand saved, what a copypasta
Its the way of the future
Of course you do.
Can I reuse the graphics card from my blockchain toothbrush?
No, the DRM prevents you. You’ll need to subscribe to the premium toothbrush package.
What a fucking ridiculous use of resources and energy.
this. ⬆️
That ⬇️
The other thing ➡️
🍌
Aren’t you on a device with materials mined by slave labour that you charge every single day just to look at cat pictures and write comments into a void
Hahaha. Not for my fucking teeth. I’ll use a wire brush before I use a fucking AI toothbrush.
Wait till you learn that your rice cooker uses fuzzy logic
Our rice cooker’s only “logic” is a spring that lifts the bowl off the element once enough water has evaporated.
*Inspects saucepan*
It does? Wow this technology stuff is more insidious than I thought.
fuzzy logic doesn’t send a constant stream of user data back to the mother company.
The problem isn’t using choice making systems, the problem is using purchased appliances as spyware for corporate profit.
I don’t have or use a rice cooker. Not that that makes me special. I cook my rice in the oven using the Alton Brown method.
Rice4life
That makes you special
Jokes aside, what practical purpose does this actually serve…?
Marketing
Apparently no one did any market research first:
https://futurism.com/the-byte/study-consumers-turned-off-products-ai
Of course not, market research costs advertising money!
I just have an electric toothbrush that stays on for 2 mins and pulses every 30 sec to let me know you switch to a different “quarter” of my teeth. That’s literally all the smarter it needs to be. Why the fuck is AI being added.
Is it a quip?
I had one of those but the battery died pretty quickly :(
Now I have an Oral B Pro 1000
Shoot, I almost guessed correctly lol
Fuck off, not happening.
this ‘AI’ all the things stuff really reminds me of the ‘smart’ all the things trend from a few years back… sooner or later people will realize exactly what should and should not be connected like this… like ‘smart/ai’ rice cookers and washing machines… and toothbrushes… like WHY??
Sounds like clickbait
click click click
I’m already annoyed at the prevalence of that 2-min timer on every powered toothbrush.
Why? To brush your teeth properly you need the full 2 min. I sometimes take longer
That’s sorta my point.
IIRC, the 2 minutes is the bare-minimum, and intended for someone with perfect teeth and technique. Now most people (ones who aren’t perfect) use the toothbrush, their common reaction to the timer completing is they are done brushing. They don’t realize that they were likely rushing to keep up with the timer and ignoring different plaque hot spots.
I personally have a couple crowns that my previous dentist screwed up on and mis-sized the base, leaving a ledge where food and plaque get stuck in. If I don’t spend extra time around them, tatar will form like a madman. (Same issue with my lingual bar before I had it removed)
I’m alright with a timer to help keep rhythm and let you know when you hit the minimum, but don’t make it integral to using the damn brush and turn it off when it hits zero.
I have one of those because my teeth sucked and my dentist told me I need to go electric or I’ll probably get gum disease. So now it tells me whenever I should switch to a different area of my teeth. It’s really much better than manual brushing in terms of how polished your teeth get. I don’t think the “AI” part works very well, not even the pressure sensor. I wouldn’t really need it either, just tell me when to switch. It’s also a privacy nightmare but I’m kind of in between giving away my data or risking that my teeth will fall out, so it is what it is.
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