• MermaidsGarden@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I’ve had it up to here with people saying JD Vance had sex with a couch. How many times do I have to say there’s no evidence JD Vance had sex with a couch before people stop saying JD Vance had sex with a couch? Liberals must be pretty desperate to make up that JD Vance had sex with a couch. The story that on March 17, 2011 JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after so thoroughly deflowering a KIVIK Sofa Chaise that it had to be removed as a biohazard due to the various fluids in and around it, causing the night manager to not only quit but need intensive therapy is beyond the pale. Who would believe this? There is sworn. court. testimony. that JD Vance has not made bare skin contact with a couch within the past 5 years. That’s a fact. Look it up. The idea that this is because JD Vance cannot contain his overwhelming sexual urges in the presence of soft furniture is reckless conjecture. Calling JD Vance a couchfucker is slander and you need to take it back.

    The Left™ will do anything to avoid talking about the real issues in this campaign, like the fact that Kamala Harris laughs sometimes.

    • iamjackflack@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      It’s funny you say that. However it’s a Fox News person that’s asking for this.

      • nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de
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        5 months ago

        They’re too stupid to know that proving something like fucking a couch didn’t happen is impossible. They think that lack of video evidence will prove it, but they’re just jagwagons.

    • cogman@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Harris also has the skull shape of a Marxist! And the fact that she’s a girl will make all the other manly nations call us Sissies!