• pinkdrunkenelephants@lemmy.cafe
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      11 months ago

      This is just life in the slave racket. Abuse victims are denigrated, subjugated, and treated as the real threat to their community and not the abuser. They are treated like that because the society NEEDS most of its people to be abused and to tolerate it so they can be exploited throughout their lives without challenging their exploiters, or even worse, tearing down the system that benefits the oppressors.

      Abuse victims who actively rebel or who try to help other victims jeopardize the system’s access to slaves, you see. So they have their spirits driven completely into the ground to stop others rising up against them.

      Why do you think things like rape or domestic abuse are seldom punished? Or even murder to an extent? Especially since the government has had access to mass surveillance for over a decade and thus has the power to end such crimes completely?

      The powers that be WANT this and NEED it for their system to survive.

      That is the slave racket.

  • Atin@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I was abused by my ex-wife for years. The treatment I received from government agencies was more damaging than most of what I got from her.

    Certain organisations that are used to inform governments, from elected officials to social workers are based on the assumption that only men are ever abusive, that all men are abusive and the women can do no wrong. It started with the Duluth model and was followed in Australia by a study done by White Ribbon that specifically excluded straight men from participating. I know this is the case as I attempted to participate and that is exactly what I was told at the time.

    Our bureau of Statistics has clearly shown that at least ⅓ of victims are men.

    • creamed_eels@toast.ooo
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      11 months ago

      This is what is meant when people talk about the patriarchy and toxic masculinity hurting everyone. It’s not “all men are bad!” But rather the idea that men aren’t allowed by society to have feelings other than anger, or are unable to be raped, or need to just “man up” when they are suffering-It’s all bullshit, and so harmful to men and boys. I’m so sorry for what you went through, and I hope you were able to find peace.

      • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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        11 months ago

        Eh, no. A lot of this crap is also being pushed by the latest wave of feminists who are of the “all men are rapists” type. I recall seeing this video a few years back about a guy trying to get into a meeting for those left after male suicide. Guy’s brother committed suicide, he wanted, needed to talk about this and was denied entry by a bunch of feminists who literally cheered that his brother had killed himself.

        Everybody deserves equal treatment, men, women, or whatever you identify as. In the past few years though, there had been a clear push against white men because they must all be racist or something? It’s weird.

        Either way, this is not just “toxic masculinity”, way too easy to again push it on that.

        • rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          It is still toxic masculinity, people just aren’t prepared to acknowledge the massive role women play in propagating it.

          • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            So the belief by neo-feminists that all men are rapists and undeserving of sympathy is due to all men’s toxic personality? Am I getting that right? Seems like victim blaming.

            • SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works
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              11 months ago

              “Toxic masculinity” doesn’t imply “masculinity is inherently toxic”, but rather it refers to behaviors that are generally considered masculine, and are being described as toxic. You can talk about toxic femininity as well. A lot of people do, in fact, they just call it “being Karens”.

              • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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                11 months ago

                … and that most men are guilty of. When we blame men’s suffering on toxic masculinity, we are referring to the toxic masculinity in the behavior of men, and therefore we are blaming men’s suffering on men’s behavior.

  • aceshigh@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    That’s awful. He deserves to be remembered. Thanks for posting. Are there shelters in place now in Canada?

  • andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    He wasn’t weak like some bigots may claim. It’s just not that easy to fight the whole world alone. And he tried just that. A very tragic story that is really good to know to start untangling the problem.

    If you want a good band that talks about that and are pretty aproacheable, IDLES is a good recent punk act with a lot of bangers. Search for them on youtube, their videos hit hard and their live on KEXP is fire.

    This is why, you’ll never see your father cry

    This is why, you’ll never see your father cry

    This is why, you’ll never see your father

    +I mean that live: https://youtu.be/5Sbbiv5iSiQ

    • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      No one does.

      They tell you to open up and talk about your emotions, to be vulnerable and they leave you cause you’re weak, and spread rumors about your sexuality (because straight men arent supposed to have feelings) when you do.

      You ask for help, and you get ridiculed and called weak and told endless stories about how hard real victims/women have it.

      Anything you do except suffer in silence is unacceptable.

      And just by the gods make sure you don’t make your silent suffering to noticeable to impact others, because god damn then the ridicule and the “well ackshually”-ing about other peoples suffering will really start.

  • Fiona@discuss.tchncs.de
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    11 months ago

    Misandry is sadly extremely widespread and often not even recognized as a problem: Erin Pizzey who invented modern women’s shelters quickly found out that women were just as capable of being violent to their partners and logically tried to start men’s shelters as well.

    What she had not expected was that instead with the support that she previously got with women’s shelters, the same did not happen with men’s shelters; instead she received insane amounts of hate, victim-blaming and death-threats from radical feminists. She had to repeatedly flee her countries because of material safety-concerns as a result of that.

    In some way the peak I encountered of this kind of hate was some Fedi-site that had a rule banning misandry (good!), because it also harms trans people. Now the second part is very much true and as a trans girl I agree that it does and that that is bad, but that should not be the primary argument for why it is bad. That’s like saying anti-judaism is bad, because some Jews are white or saying misogyny is bad, because it also affects trans men or saying anti-black racism is bad, because it might affect white people with a strong tan: The statement is true and the secondary victim group fully preserves protection, but by making that statement you betray an incredibly bigoted mindset that doesn’t even respect the primary target-group enough to care about them at all.

    There is a lot feminism that really just amounts to men-hating and that is why I do not use that label for myself. I believe in equivalent treatment and rights and so should everyone;

    • Overshoot2648@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      I think there are a lot of people who practice “White Feminism” which is mainly white women wanting to keep the existing power structures, but just replace the men with women and do nothing to actually address the cause of systemic inequality which hurt many marginalized women. Like all movements, the actual ideology and the movement in praxis are quite different and people are more motivated by a perceived vengeance and indignation than actually trying to get people onboard and change perspectives. This is why you get TERFs and the like.

  • cokeslutgarbage@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    My mother was the abuser in my home. She abused me and my father. That fact doesn’t prevent me from knowing that men are statistically more likely to be the aggressor. I don’t know what I’m trying to say with this comment. Life is scary and hard enough. May we all only share and receive kindness.

    Xx love you.

    • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      So sorry to hear that.

      I read:

      1 - men absolutely get abused

      2 - we don’t need to entirely eliminate any of the existing narrative that women have it rough [but let’s add abuse of men to the picture]

      No notes besides sending some love back, brother.

    • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I don’t know what I’m trying to say with this comment

      That despite being actual victim of abuse, and further witnessing your father be a victim of abuse, You still try to push the narrative that women are the only real victims and the only ones deserving of support.

      and I dont say this to be mean, or snarky, or cruel to you. You’ve just got to realize how internalized you’ve got this shit.