Been homeless over 6 years. My social services agency, high turnover. Being female , almost all my case managers have been female, standard practice.
Out of 17 case managers, only 2 have been male. Female cms: detailed, logical, responsive, solution oriented, clear effective communication. Male cms, the opposite.
I try to communicate clearly, effectively, which is easy cuz autism, and the 2 male cms, i get constant 2nd guessing, passive-aggressive defensiveness. Get impression they’re automatically assuming I don’t think clearly, don’t know what I’m saying. It’s weird, and I can’t figure out why.
I know not all men are the same. I’m not like all women. Have I just been unlucky with these 2 cms, or is there a gender aspect to this I’m not understanding? I’d like to learn.
I spent a bit of time going through your post history to get an understanding of your background
In short I think your life experiences mean you’ve lost all trust in men. Not just your direct experiences but what you’ve observed in others.
As a result you enter each interaction assuming the worst. Every male social worker you engage with will confirm this pattern because that’s what you’re looking for. The - ah fuck here we go again - feeling.
For them, and I don’t expect you to have empathy for them, this is what they live - the outcomes of other mens behaviours. But - they were there and they tried. That is something.
You have changed quite a lot of your original post.
Thank you for this clarity. I hope the upvotes here aid your comment in maintaining visibility so that others, along with OP, can find the healing in such honesty.
In my own personal experience, I’m also autistic. I have found over my decade’s that statistically in my life men tend to be really sexist and often time belittle and think there superior to women and non-binary people. Often times in my medical appointments and such, I always request a women or non binary person as every time I had a man they just didn’t listen or cared and tend to guess for me instead of listening to me.
Your thoughts are valid and reasonable.
(This is not me saying every single man is like this, this is purely on my life and my experiences)
Please be aware that Lemmy is, more often than not, extremely hostile and/or defensive towards female-centric issues or experiences, regardless of validity.
Edit: These downvotes tell me that folks are denying that this is an issue. Maybe y’all should ask / listen to women about what their experience has been discussing female-centric topics on Lemmy.
This makes sense considering who is here, but I would be very interested to see a Lemmy/kbin demographics survey.
Most of the female-centric Lemmy communities are now abandoned. I’m sure the hostility did not help that. Don’t blame them. I’d never suggest Lemmy as a space for women.
Damn, that’s fucking awful. What female-centric communities existed? I know what ones my wife follows on Reddit but not their analogues here
Edit: Nevermind. The Reddit communities i found with analogues here are dead AF. Even the big pooular stereotypical topics like Fashion, cooking, weight loss, wedding planning, cozy games, skincare, hair styles, TV shows, romance books, dating, are all dead here.
Goddam, Lemmy users literally scared all the women away.
A real life example of “Stop scaring the hoes”
I am increasingly unable to take this place seriously.
Probably unlucky.
Try to recall whether you acted uncomfortable in your initial interaction with them. The first one due to surprise of them being the first male social worker working on your case. The second due to the unpleasantness with the former. The first impression usually sets the tone of a conversation, so there may have been a misunderstanding which then solidified into prejudice.
Or they were jaded asshole. Who knows.
It’s not emotional, social. It’s mostly text communication. Like, “I’ll meet you at the front gate 215pm.” Female cm, we meet at the front gate 215pm. Male cm, 15 min later, im still waiting, then angry text from him saying he’s waiting somewhere else.
Ty for your objective response, btw.
It’s important to not stereotype based on a tiny number of samples. If i saw 15 white social workers who were mostly nice, and 2 black social workers who were rude, do you think it would be reasonable for me to say white social workers are nice and black social workers are rude? There are literally hundreds of thousands of social workers. You’ve seen 17 of them. And only 2 were men. Plus i bet they were mostly all from the same agency, so the person doing the hiring there will very much be filtering who you work with, and the individual doing the hiring at that particular place may choose to hire nice women and rude men.
Bottom line - I totally believe what you say about your personal experiences, but the number of men you worked with isn’t anywhere near big enough to say anything about men social workers as a group.
The sample size of male social works is 2. Not even remotely a large enough sample to say anything at all about the group as a whole.
passive-aggressive defensiveness
Um, what?
If you had 17 case workers, then I guess 16 weren’t a good fit for you, not only 2.
That sort of job has really high turnover as most people find it soul crushing and quit.
Idk how this post isn’t in the red already for either the obvious troll post or just because of sexism. Stop trying to stir whatever pot of shit you’re stirring by pretending you don’t understand some “gender aspect” considering you claim these two people give you the impression that you don’t think clearly which implies you know you think clearly and aren’t an idiot.
A sample size of two is meaningless.
Exactly.
Two X in the same office - why are the X in this office this way?
This is called begging the question.
