I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.

The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.

Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.

The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.

If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.

I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?

What do you talk about to your coworkers?

What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).

  • SecretPancake@feddit.de
    131·
    11 months ago

    Being introvert simply means you need to recharge from social situations after a while. You can still like hanging out with people, even with those damn coworkers.

    • TurboHarbinger@feddit.cl
      27·
      11 months ago

      Maybe being an introvert makes me hate dealing with people and other social situations. Why would anyone force themselves to do something they don’t like?

      • EndOfLine@lemm.eeEnglish
        41·
        11 months ago

        What you described is being antisocial asocial, not introverted.

          • EndOfLine@lemm.eeEnglish
            2·
            11 months ago

            Mutually exclusive or not. Nothing in the description nor the original post depicts introvert behavior.

            • TurboHarbinger@feddit.cl
              11·
              11 months ago

              introvert noun someone who is shy, quiet, and prefers to spend time alone rather than often being with other people

              I don’t know what kind of headcanon definition you have. Lots of people ITT seem to over complicate the concept when it’s just as simple as that.

              • EndOfLine@lemm.eeEnglish
                11·
                11 months ago

                I would consider that definition to be overly simplistic and failing to capture an important point that is often referenced when describing traits of an introvert. Introverts find social interactions, especially in large groups, to be draining. I believe this to be a key distinction between people that avoid social interaction out of misanthropy or frustration or fear or depression or any of a myriad of other reasons that a person might seek solitude over the company of others.

                The reason and motivation behind the desire to avoid social interactions plays a role in determining a course of action in responding to them and ending them early. If you find them draining, a simple “sorry, I gotta get going”, when you start to feel drained, is all you would r really need. However, if social interactions trigger a negative emotional response, then more tools would be needed.

                Here are a few references on the topic of introvertion:

                https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/introversion

                https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/introvert-definition

                https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-an-introvert

                • TurboHarbinger@feddit.clEnglish
                  1·
                  11 months ago

                  Bro, did you read your articles? All of them you could summarize in the same description I gave you (except for the shyness). Besides, these are no papers, these are articles created by randos on the internet, or worst, companies (you know, with commercial agendas). There is no review process for these. Wikipedia is more reliable.

                  Introversion is a preference. Not a condition.

                  • EndOfLine@lemm.eeEnglish
                    1·
                    11 months ago

                    There are studies that show introvertion is not a “preference”, but rather the result of increased blood flow to certain parts of the brain. Ref: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9989562/

                    There are other studies showing a “high reactive” or “low reactive” response to unfamiliar events and stimuli in infants and it’s correlation to behavioral inhibitions as toddlers. While it requires some extrapolation, this suggests that introvertion may be a a condition of “nature” rather than “nurture”. Ref: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4283938/

                    Let me know if you are interested and I can send you additional peer reviewed studies and papers on the topic. Personality and human behavior is a fascinating topic.

                    Yes, I did read those articles. Allow me to highlight some of the points from those articles which bolster my argument that the avoiding our limiting of social interactions of introverts is rooted in finding those interactions to be exhausting and mentally draining.

                    they enjoy one-on-one engagement in calm environments, which is more suited to the make-up of their nervous system. Evidence suggests that, unlike with extroverts, the brains of introverts do not react strongly to viewing novel human faces; in such situations they produce less dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with reward.

                    Introverts gain energy from reflection and lose energy in social gatherings.

                    Highly stimulating situations with lots of social interaction are draining for introverts, while these types of encounters tend to fuel extroverts.

                    Introverts usually like to be alone and recharge by spending time by themselves.

                    A person with introverted tendencies might still like to go to parties and socialize with others. However, they will likely need to spend time alone afterward to recharge.

                    Being introverted has to do with how you gather energy.

                    Hanging out with friends on Friday might max out your energy, leaving you craving solitude on Saturday to rest and refuel.

                    If you have any articles or research studies to suggest that introvertion is not associated with a psychological drain or that it is a condition of choice, I would appreciate reading them. I’m always receptive to new information that may change my mind on a topic.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
        21·
        11 months ago

        If being an introvert is making you hate socializing, that means you don’t have sufficient recharge time in your life. How can you get more recharge time?

        • TurboHarbinger@feddit.cl
          12·
          11 months ago

          If being an introvert is making you hate socializing, that means you don’t have sufficient recharge time in your life.

          Bro, the fuck does this even mean? Why would I “recharge myself” with something I dread for something I don’t need. How would YOU know about me or what do I do in life? or my free time? Aren’t you just projecting?