I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.
The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.
Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.
The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.
If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.
I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?
What do you talk about to your coworkers?
What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).
Are you sure you really have a problem with people wanting to talk to you too much? Tbh, you don’t sound like (just) an introvert, you sound like kind of a misanthrope and I can’t imagine your coworkers are clamoring for the total lack of charm you’re showing in this thread.
I’m an introvert who’s great at socializing, and yes, even the relationships you may not seek out can be important at work. If everyone thinks of you as quiet but nice, you’re a lot more likely to get promotions, raises, good references, etc, vs if everyone thinks you’re rude or closed off. You can straight up tell people you’re introverted and they’ll generally be cool with it, but think of the time you do spend chatting as an investment in your career.
how does that work? To me an introvert is a quiet person who keeps to herself and wants to be left alone. Because this person doesn’t bother anyone else she expects others to leave her alone as well, kinda I leave you alone, I don’t bother you, why must you bother me? If I need something from you, I’ll let you know.
Neither do I understand why some of my coworkers want to talk to me when I’m very visibly in the middle of something. My last 2 interactions with them were ‘I can talk to you when I’m done with this’, but what a total lack of awareness.
I don’t know if I’m a misanthrope
Being an introvert who’s great at socializing means you don’t have problems socializing but it drains your energy.
Strong assumptions can sometimes get in the way of understanding.
For instance you say “I’m in the middle of work, why would they interrupt me”.
There seems to be a strong assumption that the other person believes as you do that getting work done is the most important thing at work.
In my experience though, forming relationships for future connections and ensuring work is tolerable to enjoyable is more important to most than getting work done.
Introversion just means socializing tires you out instead of energizing you like it does for extroverts. It doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy it or avoid it. Way too many people conflate introversion with social anxiety, being awkward, or just plain not liking other people all that much, but it doesn’t necessarily involve any of those things.
If people are interrupting you, try headphones. If I really need to get something done, that’s what I do - even if someone still interrupts, it gives them a visual clue that I’m doing something else, and then I can say, “oh hey, just trying to focus on ____, what’s up?” If it’s important, they’ll get to it faster. If it’s not, most people will say they’ll catch you later. But if people are just generally trying to interact and you see it as bothering you, that’s more than introversion.