I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.

The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.

Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.

The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.

If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.

I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?

What do you talk about to your coworkers?

What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).

  • guyrocket@kbin.social
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    11 months ago

    Wow. You really have a chip on your shoulder, my friend. If that was a lecture then you are going to have a hard time in life. I would call that gentle advice.

    Did I say the workplace is the only place you can go to meet people? Obviously I did not. You put words in my mouth, inappropriately. But in your original post you seem to say that you don’t want any sort of personal relationship at work. My point is that that is bad for your work/career/life.

    Work imposes some level of relationships on you. Right? My point is that interpersonal relationships at work matter to your work/career/life.

    I think you could benefit greatly from some counseling. It might help you to recognize unhealthy vs. healthy thought patterns.

    Best wishes, my friend.

      • RichieAdler 🇦🇷@lemmy.myserv.one
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        11 months ago

        wow. You are really thin skinned, friend. I wasn’t lecturing you, that was advice, gentle.

        That was pure mockery of the style of the person you’re answering to.

        Did you really want advice? Are you willing to accept it even if it contradicts some deeply ingrained notions you may have? Are you willing to compromise somewhat?

        • 6H2Od9XeDu@feddit.deOP
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          11 months ago

          Did you really want advice?

          sure, advice regarding the title of the post.

          If some people choose to assume and put words in my mouth, I can return the favor.

          • Ioughttamow@kbin.social
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            11 months ago

            Based on your attitude, you shouldn’t have any issues for long with people taking up your time

            • Chahk@beehaw.org
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              11 months ago

              From OP’s replies to constructive criticism, it sure sounds like they want validation rather than advice. That’s ok too.