• PM_ME_FAT_ENBIES@lib.lgbt
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    1 year ago

    -2028
    -wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games
    -excited to play some halo 2k29
    -“xbox on”
    -…
    -“XBOX ON”
    -"Please verify that you are “annon332” by saying “Doritos™ Dew™ it right!”
    -“Doritos™ Dew™ it right”
    -“ERROR! Please drink a verification can”
    -reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k29™ War Chest
    -only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night
    -still feeling sick from the 14
    -force it down and grumble out “mmmm that really hit the spot”
    -xbox does nothing
    -i attempt to smile
    -“Connecting to verification server”
    -…
    -“Verification complete!”
    -finally
    -boot up halo 2k29
    -finding multiplayer match…
    -“ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!”
    -my mother just walked in the room
    -“Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?”
    -“NO!”
    -“Console entering lock state!”
    -“to unlock drink verification can”
    -last can
    -“WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card”
    -drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick
    -pour the last half out the window
    -“PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE”
    -the mountain dew ad plays
    -i have to dance for it
    -feeling so sick
    -makes me sing along
    -dancing and singing
    -“mountain dew is for me and you”
    -throw up on my self
    -throw up on my tv and entertainment system
    -router shorts
    -“ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF”
    -“PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE”